There's a lot of debate out there about what season is the best. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand why everyone wholeheartedly votes for summer. It has all the generic attributes that people are supposed to love. I mean think about it. There's no school, you can live off of Icee's, and go to the beach all the time. In theory, these three months should be great, right? No. It's awful. It's time to accept the fact that summer is the actual worst.
1. Mosquitos are on a mission to ruin your life.
They have special orders to destroy you and they will stop at nothing to bite you in the strangest and most uncomfortable places.
2. There's lots and lots of sweat.
There's not enough deodorant in the world to save you from it. And boob sweat? Oh please, don't even get me started.
3. Thigh chaffing is a real thing and it is how I will die.
Thick thighs are not so much fun when you walk maybe half a block in short shorts and realize that a stinging, burning pain is going to paralyze you forever.
4. You're going to get burnt.
You could put on sunscreen all day, everyday, but the sun doesn't care about you. It wants to burn you. It'll wait patiently, just waiting until that one day you walk outside to get the mail and come back looking like a lobster.
5. Your car is hotter than the fiery depths of hell.
You could pick up the devil and even he'd ask you to blast the air conditioning. Good luck not suffocating from heat.
6. Oh, and if your car wasn't already rude enough, it will actually burn your skin.
Do not touch the seat belt under any circumstances.
7. Yes the beach is great, but sand is horrible.
No one wants sand in their nooks and crannies, but it will find a way to get into your darkest parts and taunt you while you try to rinse it off.
8. Plus the beaches are crazy crowded, so maybe the beach actually isn't so great.
There are people everywhere and you're all sweaty and covered in sand.
9. Driving with the windows down kind of sucks.
Especially if you have hair and were dumb enough to put lip gloss on right before you rolled the windows down.
10. You're pressured to have all this fun, but everything fun costs so much money.
I have maybe $4.75 to my name. How am I supposed to pay for concert tickets? Or go to Six Flags? Or go to the movies when it's too hot to go outside?
11. People expect you to be "bikini ready".
Uh, no. I'm going to eat that next slice of pizza and not run it off because it's too hot to try to exert energy.
12. Ice cream melts.
It melts! This beautiful frozen gift melts in your very hands and makes everything sticky and it melts so fast you can't even eat it and it's just so, so sad.
13. Picnics are absolutely awful.
Why do people want to eat in the grass? It's itchy and there are bugs. Those bugs will get in your food while you try to reposition yourself on the ground and your food will be ruined.
14. You're forced to watch baseball.
Whoa, whoa, before anyone starts coming at me with pitchforks, baseball is fine. It's fine. But come on, hockey, basketball and football are way more fun to watch and they all vanish in the summer months, leaving us with no other option.
15. It's so hard to admit you hate summer because it's such an unpopular opinion.
People will be mad — no, they'll be livid — when you tell them you hate summer. They'll call you crazy and tell you that you're wrong, but you'll know the truth they can't wrap their heads around. Summer is the worst.
