We all heard the amazing stories... sleep all day, party all night, and no parental guidance. College is described as this holy land, but I promise you that version of college is a huge lie. In actuality, college sucks.
1. Making your bed is a lot harder when you don’t have your mom to get the hard corners of the bottom sheet.
Be honest, you slept on a sheet-less mattress because laziness outweighed comfort.
2. You never realized what a luxury normal food was, and the reality is not a fun one.
"Mom, can I cook chicken in the microwave, or is that, like, dangerous?"
3. Seeing a person so attractive they look like they have been kissed by the gods is tragic because you only wear XL t-shirts and old running shoes to class.
Today, Tim looked at me while I walked past him and it was the good look, ya know, the one where he obviously wanted to talk to me.
4. Later you find out said person has a significant other, and it breaks your heart.
But he totally checked me out, I'm so confused.
5. People actually expect you to look presentable on a daily basis and it takes way more dedication than you are willing to put in.
Eyeliner is not easy to apply when you only slept three hours and you are 20 minutes late to class.
6. No one understands when you talk about your hometown, and it's truly sad.
No, I am not from Southern California, and I'm insulted you would even assume a Bay Area human like me, would so much as associate with the tragedy of a place they call LA. (Go Giants)
7. Making up excuses for why you didn’t go to class is really hard when your parents aren't there to write you fake notes
Im sorry professor, but I really just don't have the energy to pretend like I care.
8. Coffee has become a lifestyle choice and it's a lot less glamorous than people make it sound.
Drinking a double expresso shot at 1 a.m. because you can't possibly write one more paragraph without caffeine, is an everyday occurrence
9. Walking to class late and seeing the motivated students who are sprinting to make it to class on time
This isn't high school, you don't get an award for best attendance, Sir.
10. When you make your schedule for next semester and find out one of your classes is only offered at 8 a.m.
What did I do to deserve this?
11. Taking an upper-level division class and wondering where all these grown ups came from.
Why is this middle aged man talking to me like I belong here?
12. Teachers with strict attendance policy actually exist and they are scary.
But I was hungover, I would have thrown up on your desk. Is that what you want?
13. There are always people in the coffee line who want to chat about how wonderful life is.
Well, I haven't had my coffee yet, and you won't stop speaking so life could be better, Carol.
14. Hitting the bars makes you realize just how bad of a dancer you really are. High school swaying doesn't cut it any longer.
The dab does not count as a dance move.
15. You watch your friends from high school become fitness models, while getting a 4.0 from an Ivy, all while being a best-selling author on the side and you still can’t figure out how a wine bottle opener works
Seriously how?
