While many college students are thankful to be free of the binding chains of high school, there are those of us who feel they have unfinished business.
Some of us return to the halls of our not-so-distant youth to visit those handfuls of teachers we didn't hate, visit young friends (or the younger siblings of our same-age friends), or in my case, help the new class of AP Literature students survive the most daunting project of the year.
Whatever your reason, here are some reactions you may have in returning to your alma mater.
1. OMG, I don't know anyone here.
Gone are the days when you knew a few people younger than you. Now, the hallways are filled with unfamiliar faces.
2. What do you mean Mr. So-and-so left?!
For some reason, all of your favorite teachers decided to retire once you graduated. I guess your class just pushed them past their breaking point. But how will the school ever be the same without them?
3. Since when did you start giving extra credit?
We all know life is unfair, but when that teacher whose motto was "there's no extra credit in real life" starts doling out bonus points to these youngsters, the inequity of life finally hits home.
4. We weren't allowed to do that in my day.
Kids coming in late and forgetting their IDs? Back in my day, that would have gotten you a one-way ticket to detention for the day.
5. What is this? A max security prison?
Recent violence has prompted schools to crack down in security. And I'm all for safety, but scanning a driver's license, getting a visitor sticker with an impromptu photo, and being escorted to every location, including the bathroom, is a bit much if you ask me.
After my last Alma Mater visit, I fully expected to receive a TSA-worthy pat down.
6. That office lady is still right where I left her.
Despite the many changes your school has seen, some things remain constant. Maybe too constant. Like that receptionist that apparently never left her desk for the past three years.
7. Oh hey! Remember me! I'm your older sister's best friend!
That awkward moment when the kid you used to help drive to middle school won't even make eye contact with you. Whatever. Just go ahead and make me feel old...
8. Yeah... I'm the reason you can't do that anymore. Sorry...
It only takes one to ruin it for the rest, and sometimes you're that bad apple. Well, you had to leave a legacy somehow...
9. Wait. WHO won teacher of the year?
That teacher everyone hated has somehow become queens bee since you left. If only you could warn these naive children of all the wrongs you experienced at the hand of that evil one.
10. Oh, child. You just don't even know yet.
A four page paper due by next week? Please. When you have three final projects, a 20-page paper with 15 peer-reviewed sources, and four exams between now and Friday, come talk to me.
11. SATs don't mean squat after you get accepted.
I'm sorry to say that your priorities today will be obsolete the minute you get accepted and receive your financial aid award letter. Start looking for a new life goal.
12. Why are these short people prettier than me?
Once you step out of the fake drama-filled world of high school, you suddenly realize that the world will not end if you wear sweatpants in public.
13. Aww! Cute little high school drama.
Suzy went out with Jake two hours after he broke up with Amber?! For real?
Trust me, when you get to college, the real drama comes from figuring out what you're going to do with your life.
14. How did I survive seven classes every day for four years?!
My four classes two days a week is tiring enough for me.
15. Oh, you have a boyfriend? Let's see how long that lasts...
With age comes wisdom, and sometimes pessimism... Regardless, the youth of today must learn the harsh reality of the frailty of high school relationships. Sorry. This ain't "High School Musical."
