15 Jokes For The History Nerd
Politics and Activism

15 Jokes For The History Nerd

Sometimes it's easier to laugh at people from hundreds of years ago.

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Not many people appreciate history because they don't think it's relevant or exciting. As a history major, I can tell you that it's a lot more exciting than you think. Especially, when people make jokes at things that happen in history. You can make mean jokes because it was so long ago and most people don't have a connection to it, but also because the jokes are something that only some people will understand. It's awful to think that some people don't understand history because it's really important.

So to start your new love of history, here are fifteen history related jokes that if you understand them are really funny.


1.

Scissors beats paper every time Hitler. Can't you imagine them playing an intense game of rock, paper, scissors during the war?


2.

I'm sorry to all vegetarians out there, but it was just too good. Just think, every time you're avoiding meat you have something in common with 16th-century peasants.


3.

Even though Robert E. Lee wasn't the first one to secede from the Union, he did go completely along with the other southern states to secede. If the Civil War legends were all superlatives in a yearbook, Abraham Lincoln would be most likely to be president.


4.

The first Jehovah's Witnesses were the knights of the Crusades. When your pope is telling you to go bring Christianity to the Muslim world, you have to listen.


5.

King Henry VIII was notorious for dropping wives if they didn't give him sons and usually killed them. So if you want to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend just think you're obviously going to do it better than King Henry VIII.


6.

The American-British rivalry was supposed to have ended hundreds of years ago. Some people still continue it because there's no hard feelings whatsoever, like you know dumping tea in a harbor.


7.

There are always jokes about Irish and their potatoes. Unfortunately, in the 1800s the Irish were lacking potatoes and killed many people. So now everyone makes jokes about it, sorry not sorry.


8.

Invading Russia during winter was never a good idea when Russia gets extremely cold and the soldiers wouldn't be used to it. But not as bad of an idea as kicking Hitler out of art school. He just wanted to be an artist, but his backup plan was to become a dictator.


9.

If you didn't sing that I'm very disappointed in you.


10.

The pun was too good. The Roman Empire was so great, but just imagine if they had been defeated by only a pair of scissors.


11.

Again, I'll be very disappointed in you if you didn't sing that.



12.

Even though everyone typically loves George Washington he did do some pretty stupid stuff in his day. Like starting a war because he attacked a diplomatic party of French soldiers.


13.


If you didn't know, the popular children's song is a description of Europe during the time of the Bubonic plague. The roses referred to the red infections and the posies were herbs that people carried to breathe in. Why not write a children's song about millions of deaths?


14.

Mussolini and Hitler were best buds and were partners in crime. Something about this just seems true because Hitler totally admired Mussolini on a weird level.


15.

Columbus is famous for discovering America, but not everyone acknowledges that he took over land from the natives. So in honor of the wonderful Columbus, why not claim something as your own?


I hope I've started a new love of history within you. And if you didn't understand any of these try looking up explanations of them because they're worth it to know.

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