Bear with me through the length of this article. Although, this advice is what I have found helpful in my two decades on Earth!
1. Learn to laugh at yourself.
Everyone has to learn how to adult somehow. Whether it be using dish washing pods instead of laundry pods or washing your TV remote with your bed sheets, trial and error is inevitable in adulting. Sometimes it's OK to laugh at an oops!
2. Find a hobby.
Finding a [healthy] hobby is really important for mental health. Go outside and run, knit a scarf, do yoga, read a book, pet a furry animal, paint a canvas! Whatever it may be, make it something you can do when adulting gets too "adulty."
3. Call your family.
If you're anything like me, I talk to my mom daily with questions like, "What is this thing I got in the mail and why do I need it?" Although, my mom is not the only one back home that I need to keep up with. We often forget that as we get older, so do our grandparents, and I know Meemaw can talk on the phone for an hour about how she is trying to catch a mouse and laughs about how many margaritas she had at On The Border by herself, but one day those conversations will only be memories. Call your mom, your dad, your brother, grandparents, and even your 6-year-old little sister to see how they are. Life is tough, but we're not the only ones that have to live it.
4. Take your time.
Life is too short to be rushing anything. Every one today is constantly in a race against time, when really, time is all we have. Take the time to do, be, and conquer what it is you want personally, before investing your time into anything else. Never rush into a relationship, through a test, or through a conversation, just because it seems convenient.
5. Be educated.
Education is one thing no one can ever take away from you; it is absolutely priceless. (I mean I may pay about $20K a year, but priceless, right?) Take advantage of real world experiences and opportunities. Stay up-to-date with current events, politics, reforms, educational policies, etc., so that you are never that person trying to adult and have not a single educated opinion on real world issues when asked.
6. Don't take life too seriously.
On a more serious note about not being serious, no one makes it out alive anyway... I do not want to be 90 years old, looking back on my life, and have any regrets or "what-if's?" Laugh at yourself, stop and smell the roses, do cartwheels down the aisles of Walmart, learn to forgive, dress up for no reason, don't wear make-up for a week, do whatever it is you feel inclined to do because it is really not. that. serious. #NORAGRETZ
7. Own a dog.
Want the closest thing to a child at 20 years old? Get a fur-child. Owning a dog is the most rewarding, yet frustrating thing I have had to experience, yet. It is so fun to come home to a little ball of energy that is so happy to see you, regardless of if you popped them for peeing in the floor 30 minutes prior. Dogs are funny and quirky, and quite possibly the most selfish, blanket hogging, snoring, sleepers in the world. Owning a dog teaches young adults responsibility and commitment. You know you own a dog when you can't go out because you don't want your house torn up when you get home, or you'd just rather be with them...
8. Live alone.
Although I support on-campus-living, I feel that living alone is one of the best things a young adult can do. Living alone teaches you a lot about yourself and makes you the only person liable for anything that goes wrong. You have no one to make you get up in the morning, no one to do your laundry, no one to do your dishes, and most importantly, no one telling you to do it. So, three weeks later when you are out of clothes to wear and there's Mt. Saint Dirty Clothes on top of your washer, you are truly the only one to blame. Living alone is an opportunity to be productive, free of distraction, and gives us something to be proud of!
9. Know who you are.
This is probably one of the toughest pieces of advice one can give. It isn't easy to know yourself at 20. We all have so much growing and learning to do. Yet, for the most part, I know who I am. I know what I believe, what I value, and what means the most to me, and that is important. Typically, you will mold the most of your adult life, based on your morals now. it is imperative to set goals, boundaries, and expectations for yourself now. Know yo' self, know yo' worth.
10. Be reliable.
Don't be the girl that is habitually late (me) and if you are going to be her, at least show up or do or say what you said you would. Flakey people are not fun people. Let people know that they can count on you.
11. Learn to love.
LOVE YOURSELF. Firstly, learn to love all the quirks, and flaws, and imperfections. I was never "bullied," per say, in school, yet I was never the cool kid. Now, I understand that being the cool kid isn't really cool because it has been done before; it's normal and it's mediocre. Once love has been established within, and only then, are you capable of loving someone else.
12. Know the difference between empathy and sympathy.
THIS IS SO HUGE AND SUCH A BIG PET PEEVE, UGH! Please, I beg, as a growing, modeled citizen, understand this difference. Empathy is the ability to 100 percent take yourself out of any bias and put yourself, physically and mentally, into someone else's position. It is the ability to feel their pain, to see their story, and to know their longings. Now sympathy, on the way far other hand, can be looked at as pity. It's the, "Oh I'm sorry, that really sucks," sugar-coated, silver-lined, slap to the face that everyone understands. For example, if I fell in a hole in the ground, sympathy would say, "I'm sorry, I'll be back with help." Yet, empathy would say, "Oh I will come down there with you so you're not alone."
13. Stay open-minded.
Life is too short to be close-minded and it is definitely too short to spend hating someone because of their race, religion, sexual orientation, disability, disease, illness, political views, or upbringing. College is full of diversity and I have learned to love so much by just listening to someone tell me their story and truly understanding the in's-and-out's of their day-to-day lives. Just because someone has a different opinion, does not mean they are wrong.
14. Respect yourself.
Ladies AND gentlemen, please for the sake of all things holy, respect yourself. Having fun is completely and totally OK, and everyone has done some things they may not be proud of, but know if you know who you are, you will respect what you're worth. I know ladies are typically held to a higher expectation than men, but this goes for all. Your health and your reputation are two things money can't buy, respect that.
15. Never apologize for the way you feel.
Lastly, I bask in the fact that I am pretty outspoken and absolutely not sorry for it. Speak your mind and never be afraid to advocate for what you believe is right, but do not ever, ever, EVER apologize for feeling a certain way. If you are about to tear up, it is not necessary to say you are sorry for crying, although we all are conditioned to do it anyway. If you are angry and need to let it out, don't apologize for your language or seeming just a lot crazy. It's OK to not be OK sometimes.
