Summer is upon us, and it is officially the season for hectic family reunions and relaxing beach days. Families are great, and in my personal opinion, bigger is better. However, when family comes in the picture, more often than not stress comes right along with them. We know the questions mean no harm to us, that they love us endlessly, but sometimes its a little bit more than overwhelming. After experiencing over 15 beach weeks of a family averaging between 10-20 people each year, here are some of my long thought out secrets. Good luck.
1. When they all rush at you for welcoming, do not run.
When they rush in the door that first day and go to hug you, don't run! They're more scared of you than you are of them.
2. They only ask questions out of love.
They will probably ask you about what you are doing with the entire rest of your life up until retirement even though you're nowhere close. Even if you have a plan, come up with one that involves seeing them twice a year. Make them happy for a minute before they realize you only have until graduation semi-planned out.
3. Family game night is not the time to take out past frustrations.
Family game night is supposed to be a fun time to connect with those closest to you. It can also be a game night that will bring up old grudges that the cousins didn't even know existed. Keep your head down at your cards and the smirk off your face, you don't want to make more enemies that you even knew existed.
4. Let your parents pretend you're the golden child for the week.
When your parents try and show you off, let them! Sometimes you learn things even you didn't know you did.
5. Don't be a smarty-pants to the slightly elders, it won't do you any good.
When the just-graduated-college cousin tries to show off to you about their accomplishments, don't get too snarky. Even if you think their degree is pointless and they're in the grouping of millennials that are currently living in their parents spare room, be the bigger and younger person. Also, let your parents show you off again.
6. Suck it up and sleep on the couch for a week.
If it is your house they've all crowded into, you got there last, or you even just pulled the short straw, someone usually ends up sleeping on the couch. I don't care how comfortable someone says their couch is, there is a reason they didn't volunteer to sleep on it themselves. But, sometimes the less words the better, and a little white lie never hurt anyone. Saying, "Yeah, Terri, I slept great, the couch didn't put me in all day back pain at all! And hearing three of you get up at 5 o'clock this morning totally didn't wake me up for good" isn't exactly good breakfast conversation.
7. Never go into a battle alone, family reunions apply to this rule.
It can be easier to bring a close friend to these type of things. They get the brunt of the question, plus they're fascinating to your relatives. If one of them feels like tagging along and being, pretty much, a designated photographer for all good family portrait places, you're golden. However, not everyone is up to the task. P.S. Thanks Jaime.
8. Teach the younger generation what you wish you had known.
If your younger cousins are lucky enough to be dragged wherever in the country, they're probably going to cling to someone shiny and new. If it is you, don't be annoyed, embrace it and teach them something they'll need in their daily life.
9. Keep some things to yourself, and let others do the same.
Every family has their secrets. Every family also has their "secrets" that someone is keeping. They think they're superman and can keep it to themselves, when in reality the entire family knows. When they finally come out and say it, react appropriately, for both your sake and theirs.
10. Cleaning a counter or two will not do you any harm.
There will come a time in the week when everyone will be sitting at the dinner table, stuffed and tired and happy, and the subject of cleaning the mountainous pile of dishes hiding behind the door will come up. Someone has to do it, everyone will at some point, so look like the golden child and do it the second night. Not the first, because then you look like you're trying too hard. Careful not to look to eager either, unless you want someone to volunteer you to do it every night of the week. But, be an adult and do the dishes, you aren't at the kids table anymore.
11. Get over your hatred of pictures and pose for the selfie.
This is your family, hopefully you consider them to be some of your favorite people. There will always be the one person who wants a picture at every restaurant, on every beach day, and of every embarrassing moment. Put up with it as best you can, because these memories could very well end up being some of your favorites.
12. I hope you're a heavy sleeper, otherwise, learn how to be one.
Family are wonderful people. Some of them can also be really, really, really weird. A sleepover with all of them will probably result in some sort of sharing of beds. Be prepared for the worst, but don't mention their loud snoring the next day
13. Pay back your elders for all the lessons they taught you.
When your uncle just got his first smart phone and decides not to learn how to use it until the family vacation because, "your generation is just so smart with these things." Don't get annoyed, take an hour at the end of the night and teach them the basics, it could even get you out of doing the dishes. Teach them email, camera and emojis. They can usually figure the rest out from there.
14. Tell them you love them as much as you can.
They're all crazy, but they're your crazy. Sometimes they drive you up the walls and make you want to never answer another question again. I bet you have your family fix for a while, and you can't wait to go back to you college town, because for once it feels more relaxing than home. But remember they're not all here forever. You may want to recreate these weeks for years to come when you have your own family, and I hope you do. So when everyone is teary eyed and packing up the various cars that have littered the streets and annoyed all the neighbors, let go of the snoring cousin and the pushy aunt. Try and make it a mental note to text them more than just on the holidays, and make sure to tell them you love them, and you'll miss them until you all see each other again.
