I'll be the first to admit that I don't know sh*t about makeup.
And yet, there's about $300 worth of Sephora gold resting happily in the bottomless pit of my Vera Bradley makeup bag.
This is all a product of being someone who identifies as a makeup addict, but actually has no flipping idea what they're doing. But after 30 minutes in front of a mirror, I can miraculously give the illusion of being a true makeup connoisseur. Here are some of the struggles all clueless makeup addicts are faced with on a daily basis.
1. A trip to Sephora or Ulta is the most overwhelming, yet satisfying experience.
Where to start?? You try your hardest to look like you have a purpose but we all know you don't know what the f*ck is going on. But you love it.
2. Dropping $100-plus on products that you have never heard of but you know you must have them.
Mainstream media basically dictates what your Sephora haul will consist of, 100 percent of the time.
3. Being called a makeup snob.
4. Trying (and failing) at keeping up with makeup or beauty trends.
Full face of highlighter challenge? 100 coats of something challenge? We need to slow down so my mediocre-ness can catch up.
5. Winging everything...not just your eyeliner.
When you sit down to begin your makeup process, most of the time you don't know what the finished product will end up looking like. "Sure that looks acceptable," is something you think constantly.
6. Always using YouTube tutorials.
*Typing* What is a highlighter? Contouring tutorial. How to apply fake eyelashes? Thank GOD there are beauty gurus out there who know what they're doing. Or do they?
7. Your finished face never looks like your favorite makeup artists'.
Really, all you can stand to think is, "How???????" There's probably a secret society of makeup wizards and you evidently aren't making the cut. But hey, you tried.
8. Hearing, "You don't need all that makeup to look pretty," a thousand times a day.
Thank you for your input, but makeup makes me feel beautiful and confident. It's a part of my life, whether I'm good at it or not.
9. All of your knowledge about makeup is gained from pure experimentation.
Your winged eyeliner has gone through several evolutions. Your eyebrows haven't always been this fleek. You don't know how you got here, but the most important thing is that you are.
10. Makeup is your first priority, always.
11. People always ask you, "How did you get so good at makeup?" but you really have no idea, either.
You see, the thing about that, kid, is I have no idea.
12. Sometimes, you have to make do with the products you have.
You're balling on a budget, no doubt. You won't always be able to afford the *finer things*. But it takes a true artist to make drugstore makeup look professional.
13. Other times, you ignore your bank account completely to buy that new Naked palette.
Having a makeup hobby can be expensive. But don't cry, it might make your mascara run--and it was expensive.
14. No matter your skill level, makeup makes you feel like the fierce boss you were meant to be.
At the end of the day, if your winged eyeliner is sharp enough to cut someone, your contour is fleek, and your face looks how you want it to look, then honey, I just have one thing to say:
