Girls are extremely tricky to figure out. We tend to not give away our thoughts about guys too freely. Even if we do let a guy know how we feel, we may change our minds the more we get to know a guy and learn his character. Honestly though, there's nothing like the initial stages of meeting someone new.
How do guys keep girls interested in a world where the next best thing is only a right swipe away?
1. Begin the relationship by telling her you don't want a relationship.
After she understands that you two are strictly friends, kiss her. A lot. Invite her over to cuddle several times a week and continue kissing her. Maybe even take her a date, but make sure it is a super casual one. When she asks what you guys are because she's clearly confused, tell her you were serious about being just friends. Tell her you don't want this to ruin your friendship and if she says she doesn't mind, continue doing things that will cause her to have feelings for you.
2. Make sure to IMMEDIATELY let her know that all you're really interested in is hooking up.
In fact, the best way to go about this approach is saying, "Yeah I'm not really interested in us having kids or being in a relationship, I just want to have sex with you." Girls love guys that are only interested in them for physical reasons.
3. Continuously remind her that you are not at all interested in having kids any time soon.
This works the best if you repeatedly hug her whenever her period arrives and thank her for not being pregnant. Obviously most college girls in their early twenties want to have kids right now, so this lets her know what is most important to you. If her siblings are beginning their families, make sure to constantly remark about how gross it is.
4. When the girl you're interested in invites you to the bar, bring another girl.
Better yet, bring two girls. Make sure to not seem too eager to see the girl you're interested in. This works the best if you ignore her altogether. If she asks to see you at some point in the night, make sure she understands that your other friends are more important and you have no intention of seeing her. Thank her the next day for inviting you.
5. If she wants to hang out, make plans with her but make sure they aren't definite.
The best approach for this is to initiate the conversation of hanging out and make sure that she thinks you will be hanging out, but don't actually make the plans concrete. When the day comes, cancel an hour before the time you were thinking about hanging out. Make plans for the next day and repeat. Girls like guys that constantly keep them on their toes.
6. Text her ALL the time.
When you know that she is really busy, ask her what she's up to. If she doesn't respond within ten minutes, text her again. Wait another ten minutes, then message her again as if she just hasn't gotten the messages yet. If she hasn't responded within 30 minutes, call her. Act annoyed when she is slightly annoyed that you aren't giving her a chance to focus on what she's is doing. Obviously you're way more important than what is keeping her from talking to you.
7. Or don't text her at all.
This is especially tricky, because you need to message her enough that she is thinking about you, but not so much that you actually seem interested. Girls hate when guys show interest in them. Text her immediately in the morning so she knows she's the first thing you think of, but after one or two texts don't message her for the rest of the day. Repeat this every few days.
8. Make sure she knows how wanted you are.
Constantly flirt with and text other girls right in front of the girl you're interested in. Ask other girls to be your date for events and make sure to post extremely adorable photos of the two of you. If you're at the bar together, make sure to be quick to address her as just your friend when other people ask about the two of you.
9. Tell her your darkest secrets.
This actually is the most effective the first time you two hangout. The more personal the better. Get to the point where your eyes are watered but you're not quite crying, because crying would just make it weird. After you've told her everything there is possibly to know about yourself, ask her to do the same.
10. Tell her how amazing you find her to be.
Constantly tell her how out of your league she is. Put her on the highest pedestal possible. When she makes the remark that she's sure girls flock to you, correct her by saying that it's actually a miracle she likes you. After she feels secure enough about your feelings about her, tell her you have no intention of actually having a relationship regardless of whether or not she's the only girl interested in you. It may be hard for you to find a girlfriend, but there's no sense in settling for a 10/10. Especially one that has her life together.
11. If you haven't met the girl IRL yet, immediately after saying "hi" ask her when she's going to visit you.
If she seems hesitant to meet a complete stranger, show how offended you are that she didn't take you up on that offer right away. Constantly ask her to come see you, even if she lives in a different city. Make sure to not talk for very long, but to bring up hanging out consistently. Act like she's the bad guy when she refuses because she doesn't have time to drive an hour out of her way for a stranger.
12. Don't EVER have intellectual conversations with her. Ever.
Girls can't think at the same level as guys, and therefore shouldn't be expected to converse in such a way that reflects any differently. Stick to safe topics such as being drunk, her looks, and cuddling. If she tries deviating from safe topics, always respond with vague answers so that she is not able to stay interested for too long.
13. Insult everything she likes.
Don't just accept what her choice in music or favorite drink is, challenge it. Tell her why her opinion is wrong and why yours is a much better option. If she ever gets fired up about a topic, shut her down right away. The more passionate she is about something, the more you ought to ridicule it. This will also help keep her from talking your head off, or really talking at all.
14. Don't try to get to know her.
If you're thinking about finding out more about her, just don't. Girls hate talking about themselves. They don't want the guys that are interested in them knowing what their aspirations are. Whenever the thought crosses your mind to ask a girl about herself, refer back to #12.
If by the end of all these that poor girl is still talking to you, please snatch her up immediately. Treat her like the queen she is and stop all the BS. Remember fellas, what you put into a relationship you get back ten times more. If a girl can show you love and kindness when you're treating her poorly, imagine how much happier the both of you will be when you actually treat her right.
