1. Don't use your turn signal.
Jeez! Some people might actually want to know what lane you want to be in or if you might be slowing down soon because you're about to make a turn. Is it so much to ask, for a little heads up?
2. Use your turn signal too late.
Yeah, don't bother putting on your turn signal until you're already in the turn lane.
3. Abuse the turn signal.
*Car puts on turn signal.* Okay, you're turning soon. Here, right? No ... There? Not quite ... Maybe the next one? Oh, finally!! Okay, BYE! Thanks for finally getting out of my way!
Then, at other times: We're turning, turning, turning. Done! Straight for now! Hold on, your turn signal's still on ... Are you turning again soon? There? No. There? No. THERE? No ... Turn off your dang turn signal!!
4. Don't pay attention to anything.
5. Don't pay attention to what others are doing.
*Car in front slams on brakes for the stopped cars in front of him, which could be clearly seen long before.*
6. Don't pay attention for the green light at the intersection.
Spelled out for you: You GO when it's green because there are people behind you who want to make it through the traffic light THIS go-around! While you're at it, don't bother paying attention at any intersection, with or without a traffic light. That's right, time doesn't matter to anyone else, either. La dee da! Take your time, it's only been clear for ... excuse me, how long have you been reading this?
7. Jump out in front of me and then go really slowly.
Oh, I simply adore people who want to mosey their way in front of me and then won't get up to speed, making me slam on my brakes. Certainly! I love wasting gas like that all the time!
8. Drive really slowly in the fast lane.
When people are passing you so easily in the right lane, it means that you need to move over to the right lane. Thank you for following driving conventions, by the way! Really appreciate it!
9. Don't maintain a fairly constant speed.
Oh! We're speeding up now! Wait, why are you slowing down? Are you about to turn, and you're just not telling me? No, sorry, you're speeding up again. Okay. That's cool. (Not.)
10. Bypass the traffic buildup by taking advantage of the merge lane.
Long rant short: Wait your turn!
11. Tailgate Me, Please!
Yes, drive really close behind me. 1) Thank you for making me think that you want to have a car accident with me, and 2) NO I will not speed up WAY past the speed limit for you just so that I can be the one stuck with a ticket.
12. Don't try to go the speed limit.
People should be able to understand if you don't want to go over the speed limit, which tends to be the norm in 'Merica, but please respect that others around you might be in a hurry. Assume the worst; the car behind you might be in an emergency for one reason or another.
13. Ride up next to the person who's trying to merge into your lane.
Yeah, just be straight-up indecent, why don't you? Please!
14. Park Horribly. This includes parking too close to one side, crooked, too far forward/backwards, on the line, over the line, in two spaces or even just next to me when there are many other spaces available.
