USC is a dynasty. We're the top private employer in Los Angeles, we're the backdrop for every State Farm commercial, our students are taught by James Franco, and Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine funded a state-of-the-art recording academy on campus. And have you seen the new dance school? It's Juilliard 2.0.

Oh, and we're Rose Bowl champs. Need I go on?

While there are plenty of things Trojans spend their time doing -- like winning gold medals at every Summer Olympics since 1912, getting nominated for an Oscar every year since the Academy Awards' inception in 1929, or simply laying out in the quad when that LA weather warrants a study break to work on our tans -- here are 13 things we'd rather do than attend UCLA.

1. Drive a friend to LAX

During rush hour. Without a FasTrak. For your friend who doesn't do Venmo.

2. Spend $15 on a salad at Seeds

Because it’s not really a Southwest Salad without adding avocado, swapping the chicken for tofu, and taking out the beans and corn. Oh, and lite dressing on the side, please.

3. Take Friday 8 am classes

All four years of college. That's 8 semesters. That's 128 Fridays. And that's oh so telling.

4. Stand in an absurdly long line at TroGro

We'll spend all the days in line, as long as we don't have to do it wearing baby blue and pastel yellow.

5. Talk to civil rights activists near Campus Center

Not that civil rights aren’t v important, but me getting to a class I’m paying $12k for is also v important.

6. Eat at EVK forever

Now that’s sacrifice.

7. Miss every GAMEDAY to study

Because even with your nose in the books, being a Trojan is still more fun.

8. Find an open cardio machine at Lyon during "peak hours"

You think I can workout without an elliptical and a TV? Puhlease.

9. Live in South Central Los Angeles

Oh, wait… we already do that.

10. Wait for the UV to be finished

We're dying with anticipation, but you'll be dying of jealousy once you see our humble little "village." #Fall2017

11. Attend Cal State LA

We hear it's the #1 ranked public university in Los Angeles...

12. Listen to a Bruin talk about how much they love UCLA

We’d rather listen to you talk than actually have to be you

13. Pay $70k/year in Trojan Tuition

Because the Trojan Family is worth it every single penny. Right, Mom and Dad?

#FightOn