1. Working at a place where you spend all of your money.
Every week when payday comes around you expect to actually have money for once, but then you remember the six shirts you have had on hold for a week. But you are saving money with that employee discount, so it does not really count.
2. Your friends want to make plans for the weekend.
No one who works a job with normal hours seems to understand that the weekend is when most people tend to go shopping. So, yeah, I'll see if I can pencil you in between my Friday and Saturday open to close shifts, and if that doesn't work maybe we can hang out Sunday after 7?
3. Having to look presentable. Every. Single. Day.
Cinderella makes it look so easy, but really it's more like this.
Where is your fairy godmother when you need her?! I would definitely take Cher’s mismatched computer closet in a heartbeat.
Can my name tag please just say, “I’d rather be in my PJs.”
4. People walk into the store five minutes before closing.
And they mess up the entire store after you spent an hour organizing it.
“The mall is closing in five minutes so you better leave, or give me a sale that is at least $100.”
5. A customer asks what the price is for an item.
All you need to do is read the price tag.
And when an item for some reason doesn’t have a tag or does not scan it’s obviously free (cue the Dad joke).
6. Getting a shift that is all day long.
But it's not a logical 9 to 5 shift, it's a shift that goes from 11 to 9, leaving you with no time to do anything else for the day. Because what else would I want to do with my life than work all day?
7. People ask for your opinion.
I know I am meant to be honest, but is there a nice way to say, “Honestly, you chose what I think is probably the ugliest piece of merchandise in this store.”
So instead I'll just show you another item that I actually like because "I think you will love it."
8. You ask for someone’s name and they act like you asked for their birthday, address, social security number, and a complete list of the people they have had sex with.
Trust me, I do not really care about your name or getting your email to receive news about promotions; my manager just told me to do this.
9. A customer mistakes your new arrivals rack for the sale rack, and goes off when it turns out the item isn't on sale.
It's not like I told you 50 times that those items were " a full-priced new shipment we just got today."
10. Listening to the stores soundtrack which consists of Top 40 music from 2007.
If I have to listen to "Umbrella," or whatever that random French song is, one more time I'm pretty sure I will go deaf.
11. You lock yourself out of the register system.
You can only mess up your password so many times.
Now, excuse me while I call the IT help desk, and hopefully this is fixed before the customer gets impatient with me.
12. Heaven forbid should the ‘retail apocalypse’ ever occur.
Also known as when you are alone on the floor and for some reason the register doesn't work so you have to do everything manually, but you can handle it.
Or, when you get a customer who starts yelling at you for your store's return policy.
And the times when your manager asks for you to stay an extra hour or two because it is busier than expected. TBH even though you say you can stay you are just thinking:
13. Mainly, remember that the universe is never on your side.
Oh, and that the customer is always right.
