Let's set the record straight about Donald Trump, businessman and now the front runner of the Republican party for the presidential bid. There are many reasons you should not vote for Trump, who has been known to insult people he does not like based on their physical appearance. Here are some reasons you should vote for him (please take this seriously):
1. His businesses haven’t gone bankrupt once.
They've gone bankrupt four times!
2. He’s running on Reagan’s slogan, make America great again.
Remember Reagan? Who sold arms to Iran and Afghanistan and basically funded what is now Al-Qaeda?
3. Also bonus points for recycling...
...Reagan's slogan. But it's so much different because he is saying again.
4. He’s always good for a laugh.
“I’m going to ban Muslims and make Mexico pay for a wall." Good one, Donald.
5. He’s persistent.
Is Obama really American? After all these years Trump hasn’t given up.
6. He has been compared to one of the most famous leaders of all time.
Hitler!
7. He’s a very good storyteller.
Once upon a time, autism is caused by vaccines and Mexico breeds nothing but rapists.
8. He doesn’t lie about anything.
Especially his hair.
9. He’s very hospitable.
Muammar Gaddafi (the former dictator of Libya) once pitched a tent on his property.
10. He says what’s on his mind.
Like a toddler. Or racist grandma.
11. He has a foolproof way of keeping out immigrants.
If he’s elected, no one will want to come to the U.S., including war refugees (war-torn Syria might just be better than having him as president).
12. Vladimir Putin likes him.
The guy who banned memes and gay people from his country.
13. He wants to make America great again.
Which America should we go back to? To when women were told to stay in the kitchen where they belonged? Or to when the U.S. kept Japanese-Americans in internment camps? Or to when African Americans were violently assaulted and killed if they tried to vote or call for equality? The possibilities are endless.
I hope these reasons have changed the way you look at Trump and made you want to vote for literally anyone else.
