I really wish I wasn't like this. I wish I was more fun and liked going out more, but no, I am a grandmother at heart. Sure, every once in awhile I'll join my friends and go out and have a ton of fun, but then after that I'm crawling back into my dark cave and not leaving for another 8 months. Bars are obviously great and all, but so is free alcohol and wearing a snuggie. I'm not sure if I'm just lame because I would rather stay home than go out, or if others can relate to this, but here are some valid reasons of why staying home is better.

1. You don't have to pay a cover to lay in your bed

I'm Cinderella and my friends are the birds trying to get me out of bed and have a social life. I'd much rather stay in bed than go to the ball, okay?

2. You can wear whatever you want

James Franco understands it.

3. You don't have to socialize

It's not that I don't like people or anything, it just takes a lot of energy to make myself likeable, and I'd rather be spending that energy on something more valuable, like eating.

4. No drunk people will be able to bump into you in the safety of your own home

Michael's car is every drunk girl in a bar, and I am Merideth.

5. You won't smell like cigarettes and STDs by the end of the night

Well if you do smoke, or like the smell of smoke, just ignore this one then. But, yeah, the bars in Baton Rouge aren't the nicest.

6. Why go out and buy alcohol if you already have paid for alcohol at home?

I already know the answer to this question, but you see my point.

7. You can't sleep in the club

Actual footage of me going out instead of staying home.

8. Creeps are less likely to hit on you when you're at home and not at a bar

Actual footage of someone trying to talk to me in a bar.

9. You can't watch Netflix at a bar

All I want to do is watch Grey's Anatomy and cry into my glass of wine. So if anyone knows a bar that can offer that, then I may reconsider changing my mind on this whole "being social" thing.

10. The floor is significantly less stickier at your house than the floor at a bar

I don't know why, but the stickiness of floors grosses me out so bad. Just thinking of that noise shoes make when you lift them off the ground of a sticky floor makes me want to just heely everywhere to never have to hear it again.

11. You can eat whenever and for free at home

I rather not have to pay $10 for nachos. Unless Guy Fieri declares them #FlavorTown material.

12. You don't have to worry about transportation if you never leave home

Logic.

13. You get to be the DJ at your own house

So if you love going out because you love listening to the music and dancing, well it's x20 better at home where you can be the DJ. Wanna listen to Missy Elliott all night? No problem. Wanna hear your favorite Gregorian Chant? Super weird, but you got it.