We all have heard the Hannah Baker references before, and we all knew it had something to do with 13 Reasons Why, and most likely suicide. Because that's what the show was famous for. But as a teenager who just recently watched the first season, I'm afraid it's not living up to its expectations.The first problem is Hannah Baker was a deeply flawed character. We are all imperfect creations of nature, and every realistic character in a book, television show, or movie is bound to have a character defect. The problem with this show? She commits suicide. To commit suicide, you have to be a very troubled person.

Not that she wasn't. In no way am I understating the bullying and harassment that Hannah Baker went through, I'm just saying that a lot of it was her fault. Hear me out!In the beginning, she was at a party with her friend Kat. Kat told her to date Zach Dempsey, which Hannah ended up doing. Kat also told her not to go after Justin Foley, who was Kat's boyfriend at the time. Kat also moved away to another school the next day.

So what did Hannah end up doing? Going after Justin of course! This ended up with a misleading picture getting leaked to the school and ruining her reputation. It's not always clear what Hannah wants her reputation to be; although she says she wants to be "normal" or "liked" or "accepted", a lot of her actions imply otherwise.

For example, instead of pursuing a meaningful relationship with someone like Clay Jensen, who is obviously interested in her and is a stand-up guy, she decides to date people like Justin, Marcus, who is self-interested snob, and Zach, who has a good heart but inevitable hurts her because of who his friends are. Indeed, instead of staying away from the entire athletic clique at Liberty, she has a separate connection with almost every one of them.

Take Bryce Walker for example. From the tapes, he's only ever done harm to Hannah and those around him. It started by first harassing her, then committing statutory rape to Jessica, which Hannah was a witness to. But what does Hannah do after that? He goes to a party at his house, where he does the same to her. As I said, I understand that any character has to have flaws. But to repeatedly make the same decisions and actions with people that have previously done you harm? It shows some poor decision making on her part. Not to mention, hurting the people who actually love her.

I also think that Hannah had other options besides going to parties and damaging her reputation. If she wanted to blend in, she could have easily done so by finding herself a group, trying new activities and clubs that would take up more of her time and leave less for thinking about other people. Because a lot of us do the same thing: think too much about others, and not enough of ourselves. And I'm not referring to charity.

An idle mind is the devil's workshop. And in this story, Hannah, along with the hateful culture at Liberty, becomes her own devil. Instead of focusing on schoolwork and other activities that could not only take up her time but also bode well for her future, she decides to pursue romance. And I'm not saying that all high school romances are bad; they just never last and usually make for a story instead.

You've probably noticed by now that I haven't even gone past Season 1. Because I don't have to. Because that's the only part that's mildly relevant to suicide. When I clicked on the first episode, I got about 5 different warnings in addition to a link to a website that you could visit if anything upset you or caused mental trauma. I'm not gonna lie, I got a little nervous. But 5 episodes down the road, I couldn't understand how any part of the story was disturbing. Sure, if you're upset by any mention of suicide, it can be a lot to take. But in my head, I simply viewed it as another story.

I want to stress that I am not reducing the impact of the show. Is it entertaining? Yes. Do the characters draw you in? Sure. But it's not the awareness of suicide and bullying and harassment that I was expecting. It's not the mental trauma and neurological effects I wanted. And expanding it to Season 2, 3, and 4 made that very clear: it's not showing why someone committed suicide, it's fantasizing it and continuing the story beyond.So if you're looking for a good binge, I'd recommend it. But if you want a real wake-up call, I'd go someplace else.