Most people think that lifeguards are angry all the time. Some think that it’s just the whistle and sunglasses that make them look so mad, but in reality it’s the former, not the latter. We are annoyed with you, we just can’t tell you that. Here’s a list of reasons why we really do hate you.
1. You always ask what time it is.
Simply put, this is completely annoying and distracts us from watching your children.
2. Asking why something is a rule doesn’t mean that it’s going to change.
Seriously? Has this ever worked?
3. Continually breaking that rule gives me a headache.
If you continue to break this rule, I will have to kick you out of my pool. And yes, I do actually mean it.
4. I am always going to tell you not to hang on the lane line.
Have you ever been to a public pool that has allowed you to hang on one?
5. I can actually hear you call me that name, sir.
I have come to the conclusion that people don’t think lifeguards can hear what they say, when in fact we do, and we take it into account.
6. No, I will not take a picture of your family for you.
In what universe is it ever OK to ask someone whose job it is to save lives to take a break and take your photo? Common sense, people!
7. I do get severely uncomfortable when you make out with your significant other in the pool.
This is a family facility, not a family making facility.
8. Stop asking me what time it is!
Still trying to save lives!
9. Why are you getting upset with the fact that you have to sign a paper because your child almost drowned?
You’re the one that let your small child jump into a 9-foot deep pool, ma’am.
10. Those kids that watch for you to look away so they can break those rules.
I can see you kid, and I will whistle at you, so don’t even think about it.
11. There is a height-restriction for a reason. Don’t try to slide past me.
I will not be the reason your child gets severely injured, so please don’t try to pull a fast one on me.
12. Since when is Sandlotting someone a good idea?
I will not jump in the pool to save you if you pretend that you’re drowning, buddy.
13. Seriously, I don't know what time it is! Jeez!
There are obviously more reasons why we are upset, but these are a few. Please learn and apply to your regular life. It might just help save yours one day when you’re drowning. Then the lifeguard will want to help you because you aren’t that annoying person that they are silently hoping will start drowning.
