There are two types of people in the world.
There are those who like Coke, and those who like Pepsi.
There are those who prefer dogs, and those who prefer cats.
There are those with extreme road rage, and there are those who react much more passively.
I don't know about you, but I definitely fall into the latter category. With that information, guess what happens when someone cuts me off: do I A) get angry and slam my hands on the steering wheel, or B) say "Excuse me, sir. That. Was. NOT. Nice." and continue driving?
If you chose option B, you're right. Congrats.
I know I'm not the only one in the world who's like this! If you too are a passive road driver, you'll totally relate. If you're an aggressive driver, welcome to our life.
1. Hello sir. What are you doing?
This is for those times when you can't fathom what's going on or what would prompt them to make that driving decision.
2. Can you please go?
Why....why are you sitting still? What's going on?
3. That's OK. Take your time. I'll wait.
I mean, I can't move until you do, but that's fine. Take all the time you need.
4. *pterodactyl noises*
AKA, gibberish/soft screaming/loud screaming/odd throat noises.
5. If you're going to merge, merge!
I will let you in madam. I am letting you in. Please get over!
6. Um, excuse me, sir.
For those times when you see someone potentially about to pull out in front of you, you pull this phrase.
7. Um, EXCUSE ME, SIR.
For when that someone does pull out in front of you.
For those moments when you have no words to describe how you feel.
9. I'm going to need you to not. Thaaaaaaanks.
This is a very crowded parking lot, I'm stuck behind you, and you think you're going to be able to back out? Nope!
10. Will you please increase the weight of your foot on the gas? Thanks.
The speed limit is 45 and they're going 40? Puh-lease put the pedal to the metal.
11. Hey hey hey hey hey hey HEY.
12. Sir, your brights are too bright! (But I'm not going to flash mine at you because what if they're your normals and you get mad and then I feel bad and have to think about this moment for the rest of my drive home?)
Am the only one who does this? Really? Just me? *crickets*
13. Why thank you, madam!
Sometimes (many times) we're in the wrong and the other vehicles are very forgiving. Let's give credit where credit is due!