After all of the buzz about the new Netflix series "13 Reasons Why," here are thirteen things I would like to say to the show's main character and suicide victim Hannah Baker, and anyone else who may feel like giving up.
1. It Gets Better
Just because life is rough now, doesn’t mean it won’t get better. Life is full of highs and lows. Just because you can’t see the next high point in life doesn’t mean it isn’t coming. Be patient. The best times in life often come from the worst times in life.
2. Tell someone
Anyone. Please. You are worth so much more than the pain that you’ve had to go through. Bullying is not a joke, it’s not a sign of affection, and it is definitely not okay. Talk to your parents, or a trusted teacher. Talk to someone that isn’t in your peer group, because bullying can’t be addressed if no one knows that its happening.
3. You are beautiful
In a world that values looks above all else, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. But I promise you, there is one aspect of you that is amazing. It sounds shallow, but find solace in that. Find the one part of yourself that you wouldn’t change for anything, and focus on that. Maybe you have a smile that makes people swoon, or maybe your eyes are dazzling. Find that one part of you that makes you feel beautiful, and forget the rest.
4. You are worth it
We all make mistakes, but that is part of life. Disappointing your parents really hurts, I know it does. But being disappointed with you for a moment doesn’t diminish your value. You are unique, and there is something that only you can offer the world. Your life is worth living.
5. Be yourself
Every person in the world is a snowflake, one of a kind. You are no exception. Don’t try to follow the crowd; don’t be afraid to stand out. Hold your head up high and be true to yourself. Learn what upsets you, and do everything you can to change it.
6. Live for the future
Something that I held onto in my darkest moments was the thought of my future children. The only thing I wanted was to meet them, and I knew I couldn’t do that if I was dead. Push through the darkness that engulfs you now so you can see all the things the future holds.
7. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
Sometimes suicide may seem like the only solution. But it isn’t. Battling depression is a daily struggle, and you have to make the choice to live daily. Find the little things in life that make you smile, and hold them close to your heart. All seasons of life will pass.
8. High school sucks
High school was the worst four years of my life. Once you make it through those years, life starts to get better. Don’t worry about what your reputation is during those years, it won’t matter after you walk across the stage at graduation.
9. Friends leave
The people you are friends with during your high school years are temporary. Chances are, after graduation, you’ll never see or talk to each other again. Friends drift apart when they have nothing to bind them together anymore. It hurts every time, but it is part of life.
10. It is not your fault
Rape is never your fault. Just because the word “no” didn’t come out of your mouth, doesn’t mean that you consented. Just because you didn’t fight back, doesn’t mean you consented. If you didn’t say “yes,” you didn’t consent. And if someone takes advantage of you, it is not your fault.
11. Find a creative outlet
Learn to draw, listen to music, go for a run. Learn a sport, and throw yourself into being the best on the team. Lose yourself and all your problems when you play. It’ll get out some of the restlessness that you feel, and it’ll make you feel useful and important. It will give your life some purpose, no matter how small.
12. You matter
It is easy to fall into depression when you feel like you don’t matter to anyone. Please know that you do. You matter so much to people that you don’t even realize. The neighbor you talk to when you get the mail, the lunch lady that you smile at every day, the friends that have drifted away. Ending your life affects more people than you could ever imagine.
13. Please don’t do it
Please don’t kill yourself. Keep hanging on. Talk to someone, or write in a journal. Do something to occupy yourself during this low point in your life. It’ll give you something to look back on to see how far you’ve come. People love you and care about you, and it will tear them to pieces if you do it.
