My mom has nine brothers and sisters. NINE. All of them had kids, except for one, leaving nearly 25 first cousins, not counting their husbands, wives and children. My mom had nearly 30 first cousins while she was growing up, and many of which come to all of our family reunions. Basically, you could get lost in a crowd of people at any family function and you would just pray to run into a few people that looked familiar.
Growing up with a giant extended family is one of the biggest blessings that I will always be thankful for. Nothing beats the Christmas parties, Thanksgiving, the summer family reunions and the 4th of July barbecues where you shove too many people in one house. The unlimited amounts of food, the competitive games, the late nights up talking about life, all of it is what makes you one big, crazy family. While you all love each other dearly, family get-togethers can get a little insane sometimes. They are definitely one-of-a-kind and cannot truly be explained to any outsiders looking in. Here's 12 pieces of advice to surviving the holidays with your family.
1. Make sure to take a pit stop at the nearest gas station to hit the bathrooms on the way to the family party. Lord knows there will only be two bathrooms at the house with at least 50 people there.
If you are lucky enough to find an open bathroom while you're there, make sure there is enough toilet paper and a plunger present before you sit down. Just in case!
2. Prepare a short elevator speech to give to the random family members that will approach you and wonder what you're doing with your life.
*Pretending you have your life together* "Oh, yeah I totally am going back to school. I have like 2...3ish years left. What do I study? Well it used to be biochemistry...but now I'm stuck between art history and music education...maybe."
3. Beware of the aunts and uncles and their love life advice. If you are dating someone, they will play 20 questions and want to know every detail about them, as well as making sure you know that all men want to get in your pants. If you aren't dating someone, lucky you.
I'll just make sure to avoid eye contact from every man that I meet in my life.
4. Be prepared to give lots of hugs, even to relatives you've sworn you've never seen before.
Hey...you! How are you doing? It's been so long!
5. Expect at least one political debate at some point throughout the day and plan at least three possible escape routes.
NO NO NO! Can't do it. Gotta get out of here. Sneaking out as quickly as possible out of here like NINJA.
6. Accept the fact that you will never stop eating all day. Partly because it's home-cooked and free, partly because it will keep you from having to talk to or acknowledge everyone.
*Sees a random person approaching, instantly shoves food in your mouth* NOM NOM NOM.
7. Bring a cooler full of alcohol to help lighten any mood! People always love the guy who brings more beer!
WOO! MORE BEER!
8. Start practicing at least a week in advance for cornhole, ladder golf and any other yard games. Gotta get the arm warmed up early!
Everything is a competition. Uncle Pat and Cousin Joe beat you and your brother in cornhole THREE YEARS in a row and you're not letting them get away with it again.
9. Never leave your spot at the table unattended for more than 10 seconds. Otherwise, it's finders, keepers!
Guess you gotta make small talk with a new table of family members now.
10. Make up a sign with your immediate family that you came with, just in case you need to get out of there for any reason.
CAW CAAAAWWW!!!!!!!!!
11. Plan your wardrobe accordingly. If it's a blazing hot day at the family barbecue, make sure you change after church and wear your flippy-floppies.
No shoes, no shirt, no problems.
12. Enjoy it. You know you only get these times maybe once or twice a year, so don't take this time together for granted.
Family is family, no matter how crazy.
