July Fourth is just around the corner. The sound of the grill cooking up a steak and feet splashing in the pool fills your ears with contempt. The sun is out, the law is mowed, and the day feels eternal. There really is nothing like an Independence Day BBQ coupled with some evening fireworks. Everyone should enjoy this pleasure.

Unless you're a city kid, of course. If you live in an apartment like me, (or weren't invited to a BBQ because you're lame like me), the Fourth of July can feel just like any other day. And since fireworks are illegal to set off in apartments, you can't even enjoy that basic American right. However, you shouldn't let your lack of lawn-age and fireworks stop you from having a kickass holiday. After all, July Fourth is a day to celebrate the original Brexit. So go show all those fancy people with their fancy lawns, fancy fireworks and their fancy BBQs, that you can have just as grand of a time as they can. Since its July Fourth, (July 4 = 7/4 = 7 + 4 = 12), here are 12 ways to make your freedom day the best... in your apartment.

1. Buy 100 Tiny American Flags and Plant Them Everywhere

Nothing screams "American" quite like those tiny American flags. They're so cute yet so poignant. They also prove that size doesn't matter, as I feel just as prideful for my country waving those microscopic stars and stripes. So why not spread that pride across your apartment? Stick one in the flowers. Stick one on your toilet. Stick one in your dog's collar. Soon enough, your place will look far more patriotic than the lawn of those losers at the BBQ. Litter your place with these adorable flags of freedom and I guarantee you'll feel like Uncle Sam.

2. Blast "Born in the USA" on Loop

America's unofficial Fourth of July anthem, "Born in the USA" by Bruce Springsteen is the perfect song to make you feel like a true born American maverick. So what that the song is actually a hypocritically scathing attack on America's involvement in the Vietnam War and how we treat our veterans when they come back from deployment? Just tune out the verses and yell the chorus as loud as you can. America: land of the free and home of the nitpicking.

3. Hang a Flag on Your Balcony (as Long as You Don't Live in Colorado)

Those tiny flags weren't enough? Show your fellow citizens just how much you love the red white and blue by draping our flag on your balcony. Just make sure you don't live in an apartment in Colorado, as that might lead to your eviction.

4. Buy a Bunch of Budweiser

Probably the greatest marketing strategy of all time, Budweiser's temporary name change to "America" is the perfect beer to sip on this holiday. Grab a six-pack of America brews and quench your thirst for justice. Also, how cool would it be to say "I just drank three Americas"?

5. Get Takeout from a Steakhouse

OK, maybe you're starting to miss out on that delicious BBQ food after all. If you're starting to have cravings, go to the nearest steakhouse and order some juicy short ribs to go. Nothing says America quite like takeout.

6. Watch the Original "Independence Day"

Probably the most apropos thing to do, "Independence Day" is the perfect movie to watch on Independence Day. I mean we literally made a movie about aliens trying to destroy the world about American excellence. If that's not American, I don't know what is.

7. Watch Some Day Baseball

Ah, baseball. Our national pastime. The perfect sport to nap to after drinking a few Americas. Soak in the glory of sports as you lie on your couch drinking beer while watching athletic people do stuff. The irony of it is as beautiful as a bald eagle.

8. Buy a Lot of Stuff on Amazon Prime on July Third

America is known for its capitalism. Not just your average capitalism, but the capitalism that gave us Amazon Prime. Buying random, useless thing via one-day shipping is one of the best ways to celebrate the achievements of our forefathers. You can wake up in your robe and never have to leave the comfort of your apartment. Just don't buy any fireworks; that might be bad with the drones and all.

9. Go on Your Roof and Watch Fireworks

So what if you can't buy and light your own fireworks? What's even better is watching them from a better view. If you have an accessible roof, go and revel in the light spectacle. This is strictly an apartment privilege, so enjoy not running the risk of losing a finger or two (looking at you, JPP).

10. Go on YouTube and Watch Firework Videos

OK, maybe you don't have an accessible roof to watch fireworks on. No worries! As long as you have internet access, go on YouTube and watch videos of people lighting fireworks. They can be actual fireworks, failed attempts, disastrous attempts, any one to suit your need for demolition. The world wide web is yours for the taking.

11. Get a "Freedom of Choice" Chia Pet

So the feeling of not standing on lawn grass is starting to get to you. I have a solution for the lack of grass in your life. Chia can fill that lack in a quintessential American style with these Chias of presidential candidates and the POTUS himself. Whichever way you politically swing, a presidential Chia Pet would make your apartment the most American of them all.

12. Frantically Text People to Find a BBQ Party to Go to.

Alright, maybe you reaaally want to go to a BBQ. If the first 11 suggestions aren't for you, send a mass text to all of your friends with social lives asking them if they know of a party. Don't worry, I won't feel betrayed. After all, July Fourth is a celebration of freedom, and that includes the freedom of choice. Just know, it might be too late to RSVP on the day of the event. Or just show up uninvited. That is the American way, ultimately.