12 uN/Fortunate Ordeals Learned: Part III
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12 uN/Fortunate Ordeals Learned: Part III

Life is filled with unexpected outcomes. Trying to find control among the chaos in the order can be intimidating. Although there might be things out of your control, you are your own joystick, moving in the direction that you so please. Start moving, because the world does not stop for no one.

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12 uN/Fortunate Ordeals Learned: Part III

7. master the word, "NO"

Of all of the words in the dictionary, there are two that stand out among the billions: "yes" and "no." Of these two, I believe that "no" is perhaps, the hardest to say. Earlier, I wrote about why it was bad to be someone's errand boy. I felt obligated to help people so much that I forgot to help myself. And yet, I kept yes to not saying no. I wanted to be useful and needed, but in the end, after it was done, nothing really changed. Sometimes we can cave into pressure and just say "yes" just to make people feel better or help whenever possible. But when you feel that you don't have the time, nor the emotional capacity to say "yes," it's time to change.

The word "no" is a negative expression towards a request, question, answer, etc. "No" means "no," and you should definitely know this for sure. When you say "no," the other person should get the fucking memo and understand that "no" means "no," and not continue to goad and guilt-trip you into doing things you don't want to do in the first place. When you say "no," it means that "I do not give consent to what is being asked of me." You need to focus on yourself, focus on what you need to prioritize. Then, if you feel like it, you can help. Not be someone's secretary.

8. learn the ability "damage control"

If there's a problem, it's going to be larger one down the line. Leave it to fester, and it will rot you. Unless if you fix it appropriately. Dealing with "damage control" is essential to controlling what you are capable of doing to fix what is able to be mended. I have this this correlating tidbit from my sociology notes:

"Humans are viewed as shaping their actions based on the real, anticipated responses of others, as an ongoing process of negotiation. "Actors" continuously engage, define, and evaluate their own and others' actions in a non-stable social life; this created a belief in sociology that humans shape their world and are shaped by social interactions"

With this in mind,

1. Ask yourself: What the hell went wrong? What happened that created this moment. Remember what events took place.

2. Compose yourself: Stay calm and in control. At this stage, you don't want your heart to take control of your brain. Being too emotional can invoke the wrong response.

3. Time yourself: Be aware the time gap needed to fix a problem. From waiting a few days to talk to a friend, to resolving an issue through text, it's important to know the right time and place to make things amicable.

4. Organize yourself: Make a game plan, with various routes. Know what your end goal is, and take steps that will lead to that result. Apologies and other agendas go here.

5. Recompose yourself: After you have finished your game plan (despite the consequences, good or bad), accept what has happened and do what you need to do to fulfill the bargain. If the plan goes into yet another train-wreck, repeat the steps again. Again, things might not go your way, and that's life. It's something we need to accept begrudgingly.

9. research the hell out of everything, anything (especially, "X")

This part is probably the easiest on the list. Know what you're talking about (general topics, like politics, programs, TV, life events, etc.), otherwise, you're going to look like a fool. A talking fool who doesn't know the facts of the matter at hand. Don't pretend you know everything. Be wise, look into the topics you are most interested in, as well as other accompanying resources adjacent to that subject. Every detail is precious. Separate "fake news" from the truth by looking into multiple records. Remember that information is always changing, so always look at the recent materials. Look at the opposing side, and prepare for a rebuttal, if necessary. Listen to the argument you may be into and act accordingly.

For part IV: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/12-un-fortunate-ordeals-learned-part-iv-final

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