I've been life guarding for a few years, and every year I see the same things happen. Some things I have learned through this job have been great knowledge, and some things are just history that repeats every year. End of the day, just walk. WALK!
1. Adult swim means "let's jump in the pool one more time."
Kids just love being that little pain for you and make you wait to get off the guard stand until they get back out of the water after you had clearly already called adult swim.
2. People get angry when you explain the rules to them.
Please remember that I did not make the stupid rules, my job is to only enforce them. People get frustrated and angry when you enforce rules despite the fact that they probably voted on them.
3. Yes I know it's broken. That's why there's a sign that says "do not use."
This is one that just gets me. For example, there is a ladder with a sign saying "do not use," and something blocking the ladder that is not to be used. STILL people will climb over all that and come tell me "Hey, that ladder is broken." REALLY?!
4. The art of not getting sun burnt.
By the second week of guarding everyone should be pro at not getting sun burnt. Some use their SPF 100,000 or, like me, use nothing. One way or another, getting sunburnt can make this job absolutely miserable.
5. The art of acquiring interesting tan lines.
This one applies more to the girls with their x's on their backs. Guys have a little easier here. We are a brilliant bronze until the waist line, then at about our knees it's back. If you look at the two different colors, it looks like two different races.
6. Calling adult swim becomes the most gratifying moment of your life every hour.
Despite kids jumping in anyways, calling adult swim is the best part of the hour. A nice 10- or 15-minute break depending on the pool. This is the part of the hour where you can finally get your eyes out of the blinding light and cool off some.
7. Waiting on someone to drown so you can actually do your job.
I get asked all the time if I have ever saved someone, and for the longest time that was a no. The following question would be "So what do you even do?" Remember, prevention is the best means of protection. If I have never saved anyone then maybe I'm just so good at my job that I don't allow people to drown.
8. Yelling "get off the rope" because yelling it the last eight times was ineffective.
Lane lines for some reason are the place to hang out, until they break. You spend the majority of your time either blowing your whistle to say either "Walk!" or "Off the ropes!" Does it actually change anything? Of course not, but you feel better for at least trying or aggravated that it didn't work.
9. Polarised sunglasses are a gift from the gods.
I hadn't noticed or realized what a difference polarized glasses make for this job. The amount of glare reduced and the headaches prevented is amazing. I am never cheaping out on buying sun glasses again. They are worth the investment.
10. And so are any lifeguard discounts on food.
This is a good one for everyone trying to save their money. Where I live we receive half-off all pizza orders from Domino's, so a large pizza costs about $7 bucks. One hour of work = one pizza.
11. Thunder and lightning are your best friends
What's better than sitting around doing nothing for a few hours while getting paid? Both of these are fantastic because people have to get out of the pool which means the job gets easier. Now we just listen and look for both and keep a timer of how long it has been since the last strike.
12. Finally, this is a just a great summer job for a few years. Get a tan, learn some valuable skills and make some money.
This has been a fantastic job over the last couple years, and I've learned some great skills in case of an emergency. Alongside all the perks, it's a relatively easy and low-stress job that pays well. Great for any teenager.
