This year, it seems like April showers brought us even more May showers. It’s almost as if we haven’t seen the sun peer through our curtains since we left for school. Every day has been drenched with at least one major downpour, and to be honest, I’m pretty sick of it. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good storm, but to me, this is a little much. Here are some of the thoughts I’ve had throughout the torrential downpours that have washed the entire month of May.
1. Why is this happening?
Seriously, why? The plants are more than fine by this point. I’ve very much enjoyed my nights where I could fall asleep listening to the sound of rain. Now, it’s just kind of annoying. Make it stop.
2. Everything is wet.
My clothes are wet. My shoes are wet. My socks are wet. My hair is wet. My dog is wet. Everything is wet. I’m about to replace my carpets with ShamWows. This has to end.
3. I have not been able to wear shorts all month. Why does the sky hate me?
No shorts, no skirts, no dresses, no rompers. No clothes I’ve spent tons of money on and have been waiting to debut for weeks now. None of it.
4. I JUST WANT TO GO SWIMMING FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I haven’t been in an actual pool since last year (no, puddles don’t count). I just want to wear that cute bikini I ordered and have a pool party. Is that too much to ask?
5. Should I just sell my car and buy a canoe?
I’d probably get around faster too, since this rain has created more traffic than my patience is able to handle.
6. Is this Noah's Ark part two?
If so, I got no warning. How am I supposed to gather two of each animal on a gigantic boat? Even more unreasonable, how am I supposed to find a man in a short amount of time to go with me? God, I don’t know what you’re doing, but please don’t wash out humanity again.
7. My hair is not okay.
My hair becomes wet, with no product or blow-dryer to contain it. My hair becomes wild. It grows at angles and in directions I never thought hair could. I am a human frizz ball. This rain has to stop.
8. My shoes are wet.
And now my socks are wet. I can’t walk anywhere. This sucks.
9. Is it worth driving and risking my life in this weather?
Even driving carefully, anything can happen in rain. Cars swerve and windshields become cloudy. I can barely see. What is happening?
10. How fast can I run from the car to the front door without getting wet?
Everyone knows this famous race. We try to get from Point A to Point B by sprinting, in hopes that by some miracle of God we will remain dry. However, this never works, and we end up drenched and out of breath by the time we get to Point B.
11. Why did I park next to a puddle?
Just as you get out of the car, splash. Your entire foot, shoe and sock is soaked in dirty water. Yahoo!
12. When will this end?
It seems like it never will, but have faith. All things come to an end, and with the end usually comes a gorgeous rainbow.
