Kayaking is my favorite sport, and I look forward to that first paddle of the spring every year. However, kayaking does come with a few annoying aspects you learn to hate quickly. Nothing’s perfect, and this list proves it. Here are some things that every casual kayaker can't stand.
1. Calling it a canoe
This is number one for a reason; I don't even care if you read the rest. Nothing bothers us more than when people do this. It's like they're mocking us. While they may look similar, canoes and kayaks are very different. They use different paddling strokes with different shaped paddles; it’s kind of like calling a cat a dog.
2. Uneven tan lines
Soccer players might have blocks on their legs where their knees are tan and their shins are still pale from wearing socks and shorts with their uniforms, but kayakers have an even bigger problem. If you paddle a kayak a few times, you’ll look great from the front, but the back of your legs will look like they belong to a ghost. If you don’t even it out, you could come back looking like a neapolitan bar- tan on your shins, pink on your thighs, and white underneath your shorts.
3. Paddling against the wind
You might have had a great paddle going out, but coming back in the creek feels like paddling on a treadmill. Just because we’re close to the water and don’t have sails, doesn’t mean we aren’t affected by a breeze.
4. Other boaters
Guess what fishermen and sailors, we exist! We also don’t appreciate when you hit the throttle right as you fly past us, drenching us with your wake. That’s not cool, man. Sometimes, it feels like being a bike rider in NYC— everyone is out to kill you. Boats don't always watch out for kayaks, and a close call could cost you.
5. Amateurs
They're the ones who have no regards for any other boats on the water. They'll paddle three strokes, and then they'll just sit there, expecting the water to move them. I find your lack of paddling disturbing. Shame on you, you're the reason we all get a bad rep.
6. Spiders, snakes, and other types of critters.
7. Inaccurate fitness apps
Most fitness apps are designed to track movement, but it’s never accurate. You might have 5,000 strokes on one trip, but your fitbit will only pick up 3,000. You can’t use other apps designed for running distance, because they only track your movement on land. Even the apps designed specifically for kayaking can’t accurately trace your paddle unless you follow the shoreline as close as possible. You never know your exact distance, because you have yet to find the perfect "Map My Paddle" app.
8. Transportation
If you’re not lucky enough to live on the water you have to deal with transporting your kayak, which includes lifting it above your head to get it onto a car rack. Meanwhile, you’re doing your best to keep the kayak from touching the car, because while a few scratches on your plastic boat won’t mean much, a big scuff on the roof of your car is embarrassing. Then, you have to wrestle with all the straps to make sure it doesn’t slide off when you back down the driveway. Don’t even get me started on trailers.
9. Unexpected bad weather
