Yes, I get it, I am short. I understand that it is the first thing you see. Yes, I know that because of your short attention span you probably cannot focus on much else, but trust me, all those short jokes get old, real fast. This is just a friendly guide on what you should not say to all those short friends you have, just in case you want to keep them around for more than a week. And if you're one of my shorties (get it? I said shorties instead of shawties) here are so quick responses to get those giants off your back. Try being a bit more considerate and witty, and basketball players: I am coming after you.
1. Wow, you're short!
Let's start off with the real common ones.
Response: Yes, I know I am short. I have had to live my entire life in this body, I am completely aware of this fact. Moving on?
2. I never realized how short you are.
This one's a classic, when someone says this to me I get a little salty.
Response: Really? I've never realized how stupid you are.
3. Why are you so short?
Moving on to the stupid ones.
Response: LET ME JUST ASK GENETICS.
4. Do you ever wish you were taller?
Why would someone even ask this??
Response: Yes! Of course! Everyday!
5. Vertically challenged.
No, seriously, no. Don't even think this one. 1) We all know this originated from mentally challeged. 2) If you mess up and accidentally say horizontally challenged you'll be calling the person fat. 3) This just sounds dumb, don't downgrade yourself to this comment just to try and get a laugh. We will no laugh, trust me.
Response: (just walk away)
6. You make a great arm rest.
Now getting into the comments from the people who this the world orbits around them.
Response: Yes, because I live to serve you.
7. How do you feel about looking up at everyone?
Why would you even ask that?
Response: Just dandy.
8. You make me feel tall.
Response: Yes, because I live to boost your ego.
9. I love that you're so short!
This one can actually sound cute if it is said by the right person. If it is not...
Response: I hate that you just said that. OR I hate that you're so dense.
10. Is that why you wear heels?
Response: Well I don't wear them for the bunions!
11. I wish I was short.
Response: Do you? Do you really??
12. You're not short, you're fun-sized !
I hate this one.
Response: I hate this one. OR No, no I'm short. OR I HATE YOU.
So whether you are dating someone who is short, work with someone who is short, or even recently started a friendship with someone who is short, I strongly advise you do not say any of these 12 things on this list, or even things that remotely sound like these or that you think is offensive. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache, people will respect you more, and you will most likely not get slapped by your short friends. Short or tall we are all human beings.
