1. Responsibility

Taking care of an animal that needs to be groomed once, fed twice, and trained once every day takes up a good part of the day. Add in homework and band practice and being responsible enough to take care of everything took work.

2. Trusting your partner

I willingly got on the back of a 1000 pound animal whose fight or flight instinct was constantly in flight. If he spooked at a bird or passing vehicle he could very easily hurt me. I had to learn to trust him enough to carry me safely and he had to learn to trust me to lead him away from danger.

3. Communicating without words

He couldn’t communicate with me the way you and I can. If he was uncomfortable, I had to figure out where he was hurting or what was wrong. We had to learn each other’s body languages and how to interpret it.

4. Facing my fears

Sometimes, I had to go to a horse show in God only knows where, after only riding a new horse twice. Other times we had been riding for months, but there were a lot of people and horses in the ring. As uncomfortable as it was, I got in that ring and try my hardest anyway.

5. Practice doesn’t necessarily make perfect.

When you’re dealing with an animal with a mind of its own, practicing often doesn’t mean you’ll get it right. Often times my horse didn’t want to walk into the ring, which caused me to be flustered before the class even began. Even if we had practiced every day for weeks, nothing could prepare me for what he would decide to do that day.

6. When you’re not practicing, your opponent is.

If I was “too tired” or wanted to go to a party out of town, I wasn’t practicing but my friends were. When we met each other in the ring as friendly opponents, they would beat me because I made a decision not to practice.

7. Change doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Over the last two years that I showed, I went through maybe 5 different trial horses. At first I continued to look for my retired horse in each one, never being satisfied. However, once I got my last mare, she and I clicked and I learned that just becauase she’s different, doesn’t mean she’s bad.

8. A good night’s sleep makes all the difference.

A full 8 hours of sleep could make the difference between a good show and a great show. If I didn’t get to the location early enough the day before I was up until midnight or later preparing then had to be up at 5 a.m. to prepare even more. Being exhausted often led to me being unable to focus or have the patience required for being on horseback for ten or more hours.

9. Always respect those trying to help.

My uncles who trained me sometimes changed the way they did things. Sometimes I wasn’t notified until I was already up in the saddle. This also applies to people who tried to help me unload or prepare. I had to learn that accepting help doesn’t mean I am weak or unable.

10. It’s not the falling that matters; it’s how you get back up.

This applies to falling out of the saddle and feeling down. How I fell, whether it be from being bucked off or losing a friend, I had to get up graciously. I had to have patience and see the events that lead to the falling and prevent them

11. Some things are just beyond your control.

My horse's previous owners disregarded a health issue he had, leading to the issue to become worse and open the door to more issues. While I did hold a grudge against them for a long time, I had to learn to forgive them and understand that I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried. While we did everything we could to make him comfortable, after being retired from showing after only two years with me, we did what we had to do.

12. How to let go

After three years, seven months, many veterinary appointments, and thousands of pills, I had to make the hardest decision of my life. On September 7, 2013 I walked out to the barn that morning to see my gelding for the last time. I hugged his neck, fed him, told him he was a good boy, and kissed his nose with tears in my eyes. I left for band practice while my mother waited for the vet. My horse would reside in my parent’s backyard forever and I had to let go of my very best friend. He will forever be in my heart and I will never forget the lessons those years taught me.