12 Things Interracial Couples (Henry and I) Are Tired Of Hearing

12 Things Interracial Couples (Henry and I) Are Tired Of Hearing

Let's just get this over with
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I was a bit tentative about writing this article because it is kind of personal but I realized this issue is pretty prevalent in our society. I have been dating Henry for a year and a half now and we never fail to receive comments that make us sort of uncomfortable. It makes me wonder what kind of people we are actually surrounded by. I would like to think that most people can celebrate and leave an interracial couple alone, however, we have seen this is not the case. Although a lot of what I'm writing may be taken as humor or sarcasm, it's gotten to a point where I need to ignore some of the comments because they're just not appropriate. Now, to be fair, my boyfriend hasn't really received that many offensive comments about dating me, but I certainly have.

1. "You're dating an Asian guy?"

I'm not sure why I am being asked if I'm dating an Asian guy as I am standing right next to one and just introduced him as my boyfriend. I mean, what century are we in?

2. "So I see you've got yellow fever"

At first, I was confused as to what this meant but then I realized this guy was trying to be funny and was referring to Henry's skin color with play-on-words. Not funny. Just wrong.

3. "So um...is the stereotype about Asian guys true?"

Seriously? Apart from that being none of your business, I can assure you I do not know every single Eastern Asian man on the planet, therefore I cannot answer your question. Secondly, racial stereotypes are not accurate representations of people and we should not be judging others based off of them.

4. (To my boyfriend) "Bro you gotta be careful with those Colombian girls"

I'm sorry, do I know you? Please, tell me how many Colombian girls have you dated?

5. "Let me get this straight, you prefer Asian guys over Hispanic guys now?"

Why is it so difficult for people to get through their heads that I, a Hispanic female, am dating an Asian male? No I do not have a preference. Last time I checked, relationships are a bit more complicated than just choosing a race.

6. (To my boyfriend) "How are you dating a Hispanic girl?"

Henry did not punch this guy, but I would not have been surprised if he did. Again, what is the big deal? People make it seem as if there are certain qualifications for dating a Hispanic girl, but there aren't! To each his own. Stop trying to figure out others' relationships!

7. (To me) "So... I guess you'll be the one driving huh?"

Some of you may find this funny as Asians have been daily subjects to ridicule based on unjust racial stereotypes but again, not funny. I really don't appreciate people trying to make a joke out of my relationship especially with these overplayed, nonsense one-liners.

8. (To Henry) "Colombian girls are known for cheating and they are always partying"

Alright Einstein tell me more about how you have dated every single Colombian woman that has stepped foot on this earth. If you had some sort of altercation with a Colombian girl or if you heard from another small-minded human being that all Colombian women are unfaithful, that sounds like a you-problem.

9. (To Henry) "Do you not like Asian girls?"

Is there some sort of rule that people can only date other people from their same race? If so, please let me know about it. I must not have received the memo.

11. "Are you worried about your children being chinky?"

I don't even want to address this one.

12. "Does this mean you're Buddhist now?"

What does this have anything to do with us? Not all Chinese people are Buddhists as most of you know and why are you assuming that because I'm a woman, it only makes sense for me to convert to the same religion as my male partner? Oh yeah, I went there.

Now that I finally got all of that out, I hope this makes everyone reflect a bit and be more conscious when encountering an interracial couple. It should not be weird and we certainly shouldn't be making them feel weird about being together. Personally, I laugh at these ridiculous remarks and so does Henry because at the end of the day all that really matters is the genuine love we have for each other. I accept him for who he is and I have never looked down on the fact that he is Chinese and the same goes for him. It is truly appalling that others cannot get past our race.

Cover Image Credit: Ana Patino

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I'm The Girl Who'd Rather Raise A Family Than A Feminist Protest Sign

You raise your protest picket signs and I’ll raise my white picket fence.
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Social Media feeds are constantly filled with quotes on women's rights, protests with mobs of women, and an array of cleverly worded picket signs.

Good for them, standing up for their beliefs and opinions. Will I be joining my tight-knit family of the same gender?

Nope, no thank you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not going to be oblivious to my history and the advancements that women have fought to achieve. I am aware that the strides made by many women before me have provided us with voting rights, a voice, equality, and equal pay in the workforce.

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For that, I am deeply thankful. But at this day in age, I know more female managers in the workforce than male. I know more women in business than men. I know more female students in STEM programs than male students. So what’s with all the hype? We are girl bosses, we can run the world, we don’t need to fight the system anymore.

Please stop.

Because it is insulting to the rest of us girls who are okay with being homemakers, wives, or stay-at-home moms. It's dividing our sisterhood, and it needs to stop.

All these protests and strong statements make us feel like now we HAVE to obtain a power position in our career. It's our rightful duty to our sisters. And if we do not, we are a disappointment to the gender and it makes us look weak.

Weak to the point where I feel ashamed to say to a friend “I want to be a stay at home mom someday.” Then have them look at me like I must have been brain-washed by a man because that can be the only explanation. I'm tired of feeling belittled for being a traditionalist.

Why?

Because why should I feel bad for wanting to create a comfortable home for my future family, cooking for my husband, being a soccer mom, keeping my house tidy? Because honestly, I cannot wait.

I will have no problem taking my future husband’s last name, and following his lead.

The Bible appoints men to be the head of a family, and for wives to submit to their husbands. (This can be interpreted in so many ways, so don't get your panties in a bunch at the word “submit”). God specifically made women to be gentle and caring, and we should not be afraid to embrace that. God created men to be leaders with the strength to carry the weight of a family.

However, in no way does this mean that the roles cannot be flipped. If you want to take on the responsibility, by all means, you go girl. But for me personally? I'm sensitive, I cry during horror movies, I'm afraid of basements and dark rooms. I, in no way, am strong enough to take on the tasks that men have been appointed to. And I'm okay with that.

So please, let me look forward to baking cookies for bake sales and driving a mom car.

And I'll support you in your endeavors and climb to the top of the corporate ladder. It doesn't matter what side you are on as long as we support each other, because we all need some girl power.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash

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Dear America, We Can Step Forward As A Country If We Stop Believing That Only One Belief Is Valid

It's time to promote unity and emphasize our commonalities because only through unity can we step forward as a country.

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Dear America,

2018 was a year of political strife and conflict. The left and the right fought constantly. Republicans and Democrats blamed each other for the tiniest mistakes, and there were only a small number of successful bipartisan deals. Politicians and citizens alike seemed more concerned with sticking to party platforms, even ones they truly didn't believe in, rather than compromising with the other side to improve our society.Yet all this name-calling and hatred — what does it do in the end? What does it accomplish?

We've only seen an increased polarization of American politics and an expanded hostility towards "the other side." We don't consider the well-being of each and every person in America and the bettering of our society, or the building of a stronger world for our children and grandchildren.

We spend so much time insulting each other's political beliefs that we forget probably the most important fact that links us all together: We are all human. We all share the same basic needs, the same struggles, the same moments of happiness and sadness.

And yet we are willing to put our similarities aside and only focus on our differences. We are willing to thrust ourselves into the deep anger and loathing that comes in attacking those different from us. We are willing to parry insults behind the safety of a phone screen and forget all about what makes us alike. And we are willing to gloss over the fact that we have more similarities than differences.

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Yes, political beliefs make a person. Political beliefs define the values, ideas and thoughts of a person. But sometimes, we have to reach over those beliefs, as hard as that may be, and focus on the bigger picture at hand. What will insulting someone because of those beliefs do? It definitely won't change their views or make them see things from your point of view.

It's sad and frustrating that this endless fighting doesn't even occur between two countries or two governments or two nation-states. Instead, we see arguments and strife between two family members, two neighbors or even two strangers, all living in the same community and under the same government, all sharing more similarities than differences.

We need to stop focusing so much on singular ideas. We need to stop believing in the close-minded idea that only one thought is the best thought. And instead of wasting energy trying to change other's opinions, we need to use that energy and time to promote unity and emphasize our commonalities.

These past few years have truly divided America. Let's make 2019 a year of unity, because only through unity can we step forward as a country.

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