12 Things Interracial Couples (Henry and I) Are Tired Of Hearing

12 Things Interracial Couples (Henry and I) Are Tired Of Hearing

Let's just get this over with
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I was a bit tentative about writing this article because it is kind of personal but I realized this issue is pretty prevalent in our society. I have been dating Henry for a year and a half now and we never fail to receive comments that make us sort of uncomfortable. It makes me wonder what kind of people we are actually surrounded by. I would like to think that most people can celebrate and leave an interracial couple alone, however, we have seen this is not the case. Although a lot of what I'm writing may be taken as humor or sarcasm, it's gotten to a point where I need to ignore some of the comments because they're just not appropriate. Now, to be fair, my boyfriend hasn't really received that many offensive comments about dating me, but I certainly have.

1. "You're dating an Asian guy?"

I'm not sure why I am being asked if I'm dating an Asian guy as I am standing right next to one and just introduced him as my boyfriend. I mean, what century are we in?

2. "So I see you've got yellow fever"

At first, I was confused as to what this meant but then I realized this guy was trying to be funny and was referring to Henry's skin color with play-on-words. Not funny. Just wrong.

3. "So um...is the stereotype about Asian guys true?"

Seriously? Apart from that being none of your business, I can assure you I do not know every single Eastern Asian man on the planet, therefore I cannot answer your question. Secondly, racial stereotypes are not accurate representations of people and we should not be judging others based off of them.

4. (To my boyfriend) "Bro you gotta be careful with those Colombian girls"

I'm sorry, do I know you? Please, tell me how many Colombian girls have you dated?

5. "Let me get this straight, you prefer Asian guys over Hispanic guys now?"

Why is it so difficult for people to get through their heads that I, a Hispanic female, am dating an Asian male? No I do not have a preference. Last time I checked, relationships are a bit more complicated than just choosing a race.

6. (To my boyfriend) "How are you dating a Hispanic girl?"

Henry did not punch this guy, but I would not have been surprised if he did. Again, what is the big deal? People make it seem as if there are certain qualifications for dating a Hispanic girl, but there aren't! To each his own. Stop trying to figure out others' relationships!

7. (To me) "So... I guess you'll be the one driving huh?"

Some of you may find this funny as Asians have been daily subjects to ridicule based on unjust racial stereotypes but again, not funny. I really don't appreciate people trying to make a joke out of my relationship especially with these overplayed, nonsense one-liners.

8. (To Henry) "Colombian girls are known for cheating and they are always partying"

Alright Einstein tell me more about how you have dated every single Colombian woman that has stepped foot on this earth. If you had some sort of altercation with a Colombian girl or if you heard from another small-minded human being that all Colombian women are unfaithful, that sounds like a you-problem.

9. (To Henry) "Do you not like Asian girls?"

Is there some sort of rule that people can only date other people from their same race? If so, please let me know about it. I must not have received the memo.

11. "Are you worried about your children being chinky?"

I don't even want to address this one.

12. "Does this mean you're Buddhist now?"

What does this have anything to do with us? Not all Chinese people are Buddhists as most of you know and why are you assuming that because I'm a woman, it only makes sense for me to convert to the same religion as my male partner? Oh yeah, I went there.

Now that I finally got all of that out, I hope this makes everyone reflect a bit and be more conscious when encountering an interracial couple. It should not be weird and we certainly shouldn't be making them feel weird about being together. Personally, I laugh at these ridiculous remarks and so does Henry because at the end of the day all that really matters is the genuine love we have for each other. I accept him for who he is and I have never looked down on the fact that he is Chinese and the same goes for him. It is truly appalling that others cannot get past our race.

Cover Image Credit: Ana Patino

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Saying You "Don't Take Political Stances" IS A Political Stance

All you're doing by saying this is revealing your privilege to not care politically, and here's why that's a problem.

bethkrat
bethkrat
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I'm sure all of us know at least one person who refuses to engage in political discussions - sure, you can make the argument that there is a time and a place to bring up the political happenings of our world today, but you can't possibly ignore it all the time. You bring up the last ridiculous tweet our president sent or you try to discuss your feelings on the new reproductive regulation bills that are rising throughout the states, and they find any excuse to dip out as quickly as possible. They say I don't talk about politics, or I'm apolitical. Well everyone, I'm here to tell you why that's complete bullsh*t.

Many people don't have the luxury and privilege of ignoring the political climate and sitting complacent while terrible things happen in our country. So many issues remain a constant battle for so many, be it the systematic racism that persists in nearly every aspect of our society, the fact that Flint still doesn't have clean water, the thousands of children that have been killed due to gun violence, those drowning in debt from unreasonable medical bills, kids fighting for their rights as citizens while their families are deported and separated from them... you get the point. So many people have to fight every single day because they don't have any other choice. If you have the ability to say that you just don't want to have anything to do with politics, it's because you aren't affected by any failing systems. You have a privilege and it is important to recognize it.

Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "history will have to record that the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition was not the strident clamor of the bad people, but the appalling silence of the good people."

We recognize that bad people exist in this world, and we recognize that they bring forth the systems that fail so many people every single day, but what is even more important to recognize are the silent majority - the people who, by engaging in neutrality, enable and purvey the side of the oppressors by doing nothing for their brothers and sisters on the front lines.

Maybe we think being neutral and not causing conflict is supposed to be about peacekeeping and in some way benefits the political discussion if we don't try to argue. But if we don't call out those who purvey failing systems, even if it's our best friend who says something homophobic, even if it's our representatives who support bills like the abortion ban in Alabama, even if it's our president who denies the fact that climate change is killing our planet faster than we can hope to reverse it, do we not, in essence, by all accounts of technicality side with those pushing the issues forward? If we let our best friend get away with saying something homophobic, will he ever start to change his ways, or will he ever be forced to realize that what he's said isn't something that we can just brush aside? If we let our representatives get away with ratifying abortion bans, how far will the laws go until women have no safe and reasonable control over their own bodily decisions? If we let our president continue to deny climate change, will we not lose our ability to live on this planet by choosing to do nothing?

We cannot pander to people who think that being neutral in times of injustice is a reasonable stance to take. We cannot have sympathy for people who decide they don't want to care about the political climate we're in today. Your attempts at avoiding conflict only make the conflict worse - your silence in this aspect is deafening. You've given ammunition for the oppressors who take your silence and apathy and continue to carry forth their oppression. If you want to be a good person, you need to suck it up and take a stand, or else nothing is going to change. We need to raise the voices of those who struggle to be heard by giving them the support they need to succeed against the opposition.

With all this in mind, just remember for the next time someone tells you that they're apolitical: you know exactly which side they're on.

bethkrat
bethkrat

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