So, I recently turned 21. Usually that means that you can do whatever you want, drink whatever you want and all of that happens whenever you want. Right?
Wrong. When I try to have conversations with my dad about the plans I'm making, I'm usually met with scoffs of laughter. I'm not old enough, financially sound enough, or wise enough to be making these plans. He fearlessly lets me know that it's his world and I'm just living in it.
But that doesn't mean I don't test my luck. My dad is protective, and he uses his humor to express his discomfort or disapproval with whatever shenanigans are on the spontaneous agenda for this weekend.
The truth is that I don't know how to talk to my dad about what I'm really doing on a Friday night, even though it's legal. What I do know is that he just doesn't get my newly-found 21-year-old New York City lifestyle.
Here's a list of the things that my dad doesn't understand (with some responses), even though I'm totally an adult now.
1. He doesn't understand that clubbing keeps you out until 6 a.m. sometimes.
"Nothing good happens after midnight."
"Isn't that 2 a.m.?"
"No, it's midnight."
2. He thinks that going on a date with someone you don't know is the most dangerous thing that can happen.
"He could be a serial killer."
3. How could I possibly enjoy watching "RuPaul's Drag Race?"
4. He doesn't understand how everyone isn't a Republican.
5. Or how everyone's favorite food isn't Italian.
"How are you going to turn down a pasta fagiole?"
6. He has a problem with everything you wear out of the house.
"Those shorts are too short. Why don't you wear those nice sweats from high school?"
7. He doesn't understand why I want to move to the big city.
"Providence is big enough"
8. He doesn't understand how I'm full after two plates of pasta, some ribs, antipasto and dessert.
"I made all this food, and you are not going to eat it."
9. He thinks he needs a sterilized moon suit to get onto New York City public transit.
10. He thinks he's the best dancer.
"Not one lesson!"
11. Even though I'm 21 and can drink doesn't mean that he doesn't think I should be 25.
"I don't care about the law. You're under my roof, my rules."
12. I live on my own, so I can do what I want.
(Laughs.)