12 Signs Of Abuse That Aren't Physical

12 Signs Of Abuse That Aren't Physical

Abuse is abuse, do not dismiss that because it doesn't physically hurt.

Abuse in relationships is often minimized to being physical and ignores any other aspects of abuse. This can be in relationships regarding friends, family members, or romantic. As painful and dehumanizing physical abuse is, there is more to abuse than that. There is the emotional, mental, and psychological aspect of abuse that is so often ignored in relationships. People condition these kinds of abuse to personality characteristics or something that can be "changed". But all abuse needs to be treated and handled the same way, with you recognizing the abuse and leaving as safe and soon as possible. Here are 12 signs of abuse in romantic relationships that are not physical:

1. Being called "too sensitive"

Abusers dismiss that your concerns are actually real and happening to you. They call you "too sensitive" because it is easier to push you off than listen to you, especially if they are the problem.

2. Being blamed for their problems

Blame is an abuser's favorite mind game. According to them, you are the reason for any and all of their problems. After a while, you will start to think that anything that happens between you and the abuser, or you and anyone, will be your fault.

3. Being embarrassed or humiliated alone or around other people

From personal experience, all signs of abuse are bad, but this, makes you hate yourself to the point you never want to leave your room. Nothing you do is good enough especially around other people. Your jokes aren't funny and often your abuser makes you the joke around their friends.

4. The silent treatment

Many are unaware of this but the silent treatment is real abuse. Not the, "Hey I am upset with you, could we talk later?" but the whole 9 yards. You do not hear from them and they blatantly ignore you for hours or even days. You see them on social media or out, and they do not say anything to you because they are upset with you.

And that feeling you get when you know you are getting the silent treatment is real, but they will never know that because you aren't allowed time away.

5. Using your words and actions against you

Anything you say and do will be the strings that turn you into their puppet. They find ways to twist your words and turn your actions into reasons that you deserve to be yelled at, dehumanized, and inferior to them.

6. Insulting those you love

Abusers do not like anyone you hang around. They make belittling comments about your family and friends, even those they have never met. And don't get this confused with people who are concerned about your actual well-being or those who are a threat to your relationship. Abusers are much different. You make a new friend and that alone is enough to make dehumanizing comments regarding who they are as a person and why you shouldn't be friends with them, and they have never met them. They want you to be alone or wish they had the ability to choose your friends for you.

7. Name-calling/Destroying your sense of self-worth

You will find yourself being called names for absolutely no reason. At first, you thought you were actually the problem but then you start to pick up on the fact that you don't have to do anything to be called a name. You find yourself being called "bitch" for simply standing up for yourself or "slut" because you made a new set of friends.

Not even name calling, your abuser will target the way that you look. You don't always look your best and that is a problem and when you feel good about yourself, that too is a problem.

8. Disguising minimizing comments as jokes

"What? You can't take a joke?" Your partner loves to tell you that you cannot take a joke or that they "cannot joke around with you" because you take to heart the comments that they make. Do not listen to them. They're pushing the idea that you cannot take a joke because they do not want to own up or take responsibility for the idea that they have hurt you in any way. They would rather say that the comment that they made was a joke than think for a second that they should apologize.

According to them, you are being blamed and being "too sensitive" here.

9. You are walking on eggshells

After being treated so poorly for too long, you have no idea what you can or can't do. At this point, you are trying to spare your feelings and from them from being mad at you. Nothing you do is right and you get blamed for everything, so the only thing you can do is watch your every move so you don't make any wrong ones.

10. Threatening to leave you if you do not obey them

As simple as that. If you do not do what they want you to do they will threaten you with their absence. They will tell you that they don't love you or that they cannot be with you unless you do what they want you to do.

11. Sex does not feel like an option

This is painful to realize and to write. You start to feel like you don't have a right to your own body and that you cannot say no to sex. If you say no, you are always either guilt-tripped, made to be a problem, or felt like they will leave you if you don't give in. Sometimes these actions are indirect but very obvious.

12. Inferior vs. Superior

This is a game that your abuser plays with your mind. You are inferior to them and you probably do not recognize that they see you this way but you are nothing but less than them. You are the ground that they walk on and you have no say in how you feel or what you want out of your own relationship.

Being their inferior ultimately sums up emotional, psychological, and mental abuse. This is how they see you and you will never be on the same page as them. As long as you keep them in your life, your abuser will walk all over any of the boundaries that you think you have set.

Cover Image Credit: Aimee Vogelsang

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The Struggles Of Being A Millennial Republican

To us, conservative logic just makes sense.

We are the few, the proud, the Millennial Republicans. Our duty is to make sure the Grand Ol' Party stays alive and thriving, a task we proudly take on. We have forsaken all of the #FeelTheBern hashtags and declined to retweet the selfie of Kim Kardashian with Hillary Clinton. Our refusal to partake in the ideology of our peers does come at a cost by making us the unpopular kids at the political lunch table, a title we are actually okay with. Our "coolness" is a small price to pay to make sure America remains the best country in the world.

The Millennial Conservatives are a rare but amazing group of people who can bridge the gap between generations. Our basic principles still align with those of our parents' and grandparents' while bringing a fresh perspective to the table. To us, the conservative logic just makes sense. This is very clearly not the case for everyone, though. Every argument has been hurled our way for why it is crazy for our generation to vote red, but none have even come to close to convincing us to leave the right wing.

Unfortunately, there are still the daily struggles of being surrounded by democratic peers. These are a few situations which every twenty-something conservative can relate to:

When your liberal professor goes on a rant about the GOP.

Every time you see a Facebook rant about Bernie making everything “free.”

Actually, every time you see anything about #FeelingTheBern.

When you get on Tumblr to look at pictures of cute dogs and are bombarded by anti-Republican posts.

When Hillary Clinton did the "nae nae" so we were supposed to forget about Benghazi.

When people automatically assume you are voting for Donald Trump.

That friend who tells you all about how bad the Republican debates were but didn’t even watch them.

When a Democrat says they are the party that doesn’t judge anyone then calls all Republicans homophobic, sexist and racist.

When you find people your age who share your political stance.

You are a woman, so you must be a Democrat.

When someone tells you that Republicans are just “old, white men.”

When someone tries to convince you to switch parties.

Cover Image Credit: Jeremiah Schultz / Flickr

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Dear Nancy Pelosi, 16-Year-Olds Should Not Be Able To Vote

Because I'm sure every sixteen year old wants to be rushing to the voting booth on their birthday instead of the BMV, anyways.


Recent politicians such as Nancy Pelosi have put the voting age on the political agenda in the past few weeks. In doing so, some are advocating for the voting age in the United States to be lowered from eighteen to sixteen- Here's why it is ludicrous.

According to a study done by "Circle" regarding voter turnout in the 2018 midterms, 31% of eligible people between the ages of 18 and 29 voted. Thus, nowhere near half of the eligible voters between 18 and 29 actually voted. To anyone who thinks the voting age should be lowered to sixteen, in relevance to the data, it is pointless. If the combination of people who can vote from the legal voting age of eighteen to eleven years later is solely 31%, it is doubtful that many sixteen-year-olds would exercise their right to vote. To go through such a tedious process of amending the Constitution to change the voting age by two years when the evidence doesn't support that many sixteen-year-olds would make use of the new change (assuming it would pass) to vote is idiotic.

The argument can be made that if someone can operate heavy machinery (I.e. drive a car) at sixteen, they should be able to vote. Just because a sixteen-year-old can (in most places) now drive a car and work at a job, does not mean that they should be able to vote. At the age of sixteen, many students have not had fundamental classes such as government or economics to fully understand the political world. Sadly, going into these classes there are students that had mere knowledge of simple political knowledge such as the number of branches of government. Well, there are people above the age of eighteen who are uneducated but they can still vote, so what does it matter if sixteen-year-olds don't know everything about politics and still vote? At least they're voting. Although this is true, it's highly doubtful that someone who is past the age of eighteen, is uninformed about politics, and has to work on election day will care that much to make it to the booths. In contrast, sixteen-year-olds may be excited since it's the first time they can vote, and likely don't have too much of a tight schedule on election day, so they still may vote. The United States does not need people to vote if their votes are going to be uneducated.

But there are some sixteen-year-olds who are educated on issues and want to vote, so that's unfair to them. Well, there are other ways to participate in government besides voting. If a sixteen-year-old feels passionate about something on the political agenda but can't vote, there are other ways of getting involved. They can canvas for politicians whom they agree with, or become active in the notorious "Get Out The Vote" campaign to increase registered voter participation or help register those who already aren't. Best yet, they can politically socialize their peers with political information so that when the time comes for all of them to be eighteen and vote, more eighteen-year-olds will be educated and likely to vote.

If you're a sixteen-year-old and feel hopeless, you're not. As the 2016 election cycle approached, I was seventeen and felt useless because I had no vote. Although voting is arguably one of the easiest ways to participate in politics, it's not the only one. Since the majority of the current young adult population don't exercise their right to vote, helping inform them of how to stay informed and why voting is important, in my eyes is as essential as voting.

Sorry, Speaker Pelosi and all the others who think the voting age should be lowered. I'd rather not have to pay a plethora of taxes in my later years because in 2020 sixteen-year-olds act like sheep and blindly vote for people like Bernie Sanders who support the free college.

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