After finishing my first semester of college, I have come to the conclusion that a majority of college students inhabit similar characteristics as sloths. However, before I begin, it is important to know that sloths are either two or three toed, which differentiates them into two different types.
1. You struggle getting out of your bed every morning
Every morning you struggle waking up for your classes. Despite the original belief that sloths sleep 15 to 20 hours a day, they only sleep 10 hours per day, which is not too different from the recommended amount of hours that humans should sleep.
2. You only leave your dorm to go to the bathroom and to eat
Sloths only leave tree once a week to urinate/defecate. On somedays, in particular weekends, the only thing that gets me out of bed in the morning is to eat and use the bathroom.
3. You try your best to always use the same stall or shower in your hall bathroom
Sloths always urinate/defecate in the same spot. In college I always use the same toilet and shower and if it is occupied when I want to use it, I get mad and try to wait for it to be vacant.
4. Your lack of cleanliness, protects you from predators
Algae grows on sloths' fur. The green fur protects them from predators. Also, different types of insects live in the sloth's fur. Not from personal experience, but often college students are not the most sanitary creatures; people who don't maintain proper hygiene skills, will not have to worry about about being attacked by predators and you may have bugs in your dorm and even living on your body.
5. You're always walking slowly
Sloths are known for their slowness. College students are known for being sluggish, especially when they have to wake up for an 8 a.m. class.
6. You have a slow metabolism, that results in a lack of energy
Sloths are known for having the slowest metabolism on earth. College students are known for gaining weight in college, however, unlike sloths, their weight gain does not have to do with their metabolisms, but an unhealthy diet and too much cafeteria food.
7. You have a tendency to be clingy
Since sloths spend most of their life hanging in trees, the strong grip from their claws and muscles are so strong that sometimes, even after they die, they are still clinging to the same branch as they were when they were alive. Sometimes, college students like to cling on to the first person they meet or their roommate, to the point that it becomes annoying.
8. You miss your parents and never want to let go of them while hugging, when they visit
Sloths cling onto their parents mother for their first four years of life. Although college students like the freedom of living without their parents, it is often that they get homesick and miss seeing them everyday. It is hard for both humans and sloths to say goodbye to their young.
9. If you are a female, you like to stay with your group of friends
Female sloths like to move around in groups. College students often form cliques and friend groups, and do not like to attend parties or social gatherings without them.
10. You like to blend in with the crowd
The green algae that grows on their fur, allows sloths to camouflage, and along with their slow movement, they are protected from predators. Like sloths, college students try to blend in and follow the same trends as the other students on campus.
11. You let people know when you want to mate
The only aspect of life that sloths are fast in is during mating. In fact it takes them 5 seconds to have sex! Female sloths attract males by screaming, when they are in heat. Different than human females, sloths go into heat once a year. When college students want to have sex, they let the person they want to do so with know.
12. You never give up
When sloths fall, they usually survive it and continue on with their lives. When college students, either have a physical or metaphorical fall, it is always best for them to get right back up and maybe sleep it off, like a sloth.
