Silly, useless puns are the best, IMHO. My grandfather tells them to me all of the time, and they never fail to make me laugh. However, I know I'm pretty much alone in my enjoyment of stupid puns. But just to annoy those of you who don't like 'em, here are some of the best that I've found and heard.
1. I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
2. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
3. A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours, and it taint mine.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
6. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
7. A ship carrying a cargo of red paint collided with a ship carrying a cargo of purple paint. Both crews were marooned.
8. What do the letters D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
9. For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
10. Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
11. Did you hear the one about the haunted elevator? It was a great story; it really lifted my spirits.
12. A friend got fired from his job at a calendar factory. All he did was take a day off.
