1. "I just finished printing it"

YOU AREN'T FUNNY, GEORGE. I am required to check big bills, kindly just shut up and let me do my job before I come harass you at your job with equally horrible jokes.

2. Your life story

No offense, Gertrude, I'm sure your life was very exciting.... But I don't need to know about your third kidney stone, you're holding up my line.

3. "Oh, so you're not located in [Insert City Twenty Miles Away From Your Location]."

No... I don't know how you didn't see that when you looked this place up to get the number. Or how you missed it when it says it three times in the automated message that plays before you were connected to me.

4. "Are you sure you can't cut me a deal?"

Do you want me fired? Because that is how I get fired. Stop trying to barter with me, I can't help you. If you're that strapped for cash, maybe just stay home.

5. "I don't believe you. Can I speak to a manager?"

Karen, I work here. I had to be trained on all of our policies. But yes, I will go get you a manager. So they can tell you the SAME. EXACT. THING.

6. "That's so expensive"

Yes, it is. I'm not responsible for it being so expensive. Please don't take out your frustrations on me.

7. "Why didn't you fix [Insert problem they never told you about]"

Well... I cannot read minds. I don't get paid enough to do that. So you need to verbally express when you have a problem.

8. "It's so nice outside!"

Wow... I wish I was able to enjoy it. Instead I'm here... Helping you.... Thanks for the reminder that I'm working through the gorgeous weather though.

9. "I don't see a price, so it must be free!! *laughing ensues*"

Wow! Golly gee mister, you sure are funny and original. I have not already heard that twenty times today... Thank you for the comedy gold.

10. "Working hard or hardly working?"

Once was cute, eighty nine times later, this cute little funny becomes the most agitating question ever. Please, just leave it at home.

11. When the customers get mad when you interrupt their phone calls to actually provide them with the service they arrived here to get

My apologies, I don't want to interrupt your call... So just go outside and finish up, and when you're ready to embrace civilization and hang up, you know where I will be.

12. "Well, you've just lost my business. I'm never coming here again"

Well, it just so happens that you are not a huge client for us... We will definitely survive the loss. There's the door, buh bye.