Realistically, who hasn't done something stupid? Personally, I'd never believe someone if they claimed to have a repertoire free of awkward slip-ups and trip-ups. We've all done something dumb, embarrassing, regrettable. We've all had the moment after a klutzy conversation where we've thought of something clever to say, but only moments too late. And while we're on the subject, here's my own personal repertoire of those graceless things I too have said and done in my 19 years:
1) Put a steel bowl into the microwave. (This happened nearly eight years ago, when microwaves could not accept steel bowls.) Yes, the electric appliance did break and I got into so much trouble.
2) Hit my dad's car in our own driveway. This event happened almost four years ago, when I had no driving knowledge, let alone steering wheel experience. My mom wanted me to move my dad's car just a couple of inches forward. She told me to move forward with the brakes, but instead I hit gas, and slammed against the front of my dad's van. The hood of both cars were fine, except for some silver scratches on the van. I felt immediately stupid doing what I just did and cried in my room for hours on end.
3) When I began actively learning how to drive a car. This was in an empty church parking lot near our home, and my dad was teaching me the basics of driving within that parking lot. Soon, it was time to go home, and he wanted me to attempt taking a right turn. I took the right turn out of the church, but then I stopped the car in the middle of the road, turned the steering wheel straight again, and then resumed on driving home. Go ahead and facepalm because that is exactly what I do whenever I remember this moment.
4) When I was talking to a complete stranger on Facebook and told him to come over to America. I was about fourteen or fifteen during this time, and yet had to practice common sense. (Eventually, I stopped talking to him because the person was quite bossy.) He was based in Bangladesh, and was studying in college during that time. Of course, I did not realize that what I just told him was quite dangerous because not only was he a total stranger, but he is also a Bangladeshi (you have to be cautious around certain ones), since they are notorious for manipulating people for their benefits.
5) In the seventh grade, I had just signed up for Facebook, and was amazed at how people got so many likes on their statuses. I barely got any likes during that time, and was absolutely desperate for some thumbs-up from people. Therefore, I searched up 'how to get lots of Facebook likes' and immediately followed the advice on the first link I clicked. I can't find the link now, and that status was actually on my old, old Facebook account. (I deleted my Facebook twice!) However, the status was something along the lines of 'I beat up my computer screen, put it in repair, and now I have it back.' It was quite stupid, but like I said, I had no sense of humor back then and just immediately put up what I thought was funny for all of my friends. The result? No likes.
6) Apply makeup like a total hoochie. I thought just because Michelle Phan put black eyeliner on the waterline, meant that I could do it, too. The resulting look only made my eyes seem smaller and made my whole face age by five years. It was a huge mistake, and I even have a photo as proof. Enjoy:
You can definitely see how gaudy and horrible my makeup looks. This is seriously how I did my makeup in middle school, just because I saw other YouTube gurus put it on their face.
7) When I stopped using Benzyl Peroxide on my face before going to sleep every night. This is was before sophomore year of high school, the time when I decided to let go of using B.P. on my skin. The decision was a bad mistake because my skin freaked out and began breaking out uncontrollably. I immediately began using multiple different natural regimens, skincare products, and the order of products. My face was becoming more and more intolerable to view in the mirror,to the point where I wanted to rip off the skin and walk around with flesh, blood, and bones instead. My breakouts did eventually stop, but it was not until a year later that my skin was restored.
8) Annnd again, but with Vitamin E. I did only a small amount of research and immediately came up with the final conclusion that I can definitely use this technique to improve the condition of my skin. The state of my face was clear prior to this (disastrous) experiment. For nearly a year, I was dealing with constant breakouts, scars, and overall redness. It has gone done right now, by light years!
9) The time when I wrote 'Happy Valentine's Day' with Crayola markers across my arm and went to my masjid with the thing still on. A girl forced my long sleeve shirt up past my elbow and told the teacher on me. Needless to say, I was quite furious with what she did. The teacher did not say anything to me at first, she just stared at me. Moments later, the teacher told me to not do it again. I was also mad at myself because it was truly a stupid thing to write 'Happy Valentine's Day' in big capital letters on my arm.
10) I ripped my pants at my babysitter's house. Here is what happened: they had these exercise machine where the person would sit, and then pull this bar towards them, which then caused the seat to rise almost parallel to the handle. I was doing that while watching TV, and I could seriously hear my pants going 'rrriiiippp' the entire time! Did I care? Sure, I was a bit concerned, but kept it quiet. You know, my babysitter would not have minded sewing it up for me, but of course, I was an idiotic child back then. When my mom came to pick up my brother and I, she was furious to see me walk through the living room with ripped pants--that were ripped at the crotch area, in front of men! Being a Desi child, you can probably guess what happened to me when I got home.
11) I wore a shirt with period blood stains in public. I was out with my dad at this car garage with my brother because we just had to go. The shirt I was wearing was oversized, white, and had tiny, blood dots at the bottom, near my rear area. My mom did not find out until I was at home with her, and she found out by interrogating me. After the interrogation, I received the most violent beating with a wooden spoon. Of course, I cried a river afterwards, as if, who would not do so?
12) As a child, I was quite shy, and my kindergarten teacher was quite mean. Those two qualities together do not necessarily mix to be the best of the best relationships. I had to pee urgently, but as I said, the teacher was not the nicest one in the school. She often lectured me *alone* for no apparent reason. I guess because it was a year after 9/11, or because she suspected I did not know how to speak English (since my parents are native Bangladeshis), that particular instructor did treat a bit differently than she did with other students. Anyways, I was standing in front of her, listening to whatever junk she was telling me, with my legs tightly crossed. I had to keep crossing them even tighter because I was completely unable to hold it in. Seconds later, there was a pool of yellow around my legs, and that teacher was even more pissed at me because now there was a gross mess to clean. Whatever, now that I reminisce about that day, she definitely deserved it.
I have done a couple, or maybe several, other stupid actions/sayings, but I feel like these 12 things are enough for now. Yes, all of these are 100% true, from my own life and from own memories. No one forced me to write all of these things, whatsoever, I did this out of my own consent.
Hope you enjoyed reading this and maybe getting a good laugh out if it. Also, if you ever feel dumb, just look at what I did and perhaps you will feel a lot better!
