12 Disappointing Discoveries About Adulthood From A Newly Minted Adult

I think we can all agree that growing up is no walk in the park. I just turned 21, and I'm beginning to realize that Peter Pan was really on to something with that 'never grow up' business.

1. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F6360569439968203861400476358_giphy81.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=385&h=3b0dc89fab232d19a969456c3714138151c4142f464b620e4998619ad5f2ac9b&size=980x&c=364974855 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F6360569439968203861400476358_giphy81.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D385%26h%3D3b0dc89fab232d19a969456c3714138151c4142f464b620e4998619ad5f2ac9b%26size%3D980x%26c%3D364974855%22%7D" expand=1]

For years and years, I bought into the myth that 21 was ancient and I was going to know EXACTLY what I wanted to be by the time I hit 18. LIES, ALL LIES. If anything, I have even less of an idea now than I did then. Is it to late to go back and be born as a cat?

2. I don't know all the things I thought I would

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F01%2F636056919375645568-238469491_tumblr_lnjsfv6gle1qafrh6.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=539&h=a4f28a6aa24b99c7ee74779bfe2b483de8bb0c3dfa13b2b411e9975d58743642&size=980x&c=3558943824 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F01%252F636056919375645568-238469491_tumblr_lnjsfv6gle1qafrh6.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D539%26h%3Da4f28a6aa24b99c7ee74779bfe2b483de8bb0c3dfa13b2b411e9975d58743642%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3558943824%22%7D" expand=1]

Actually, I think I'm getting less smart. Is that even possible? What I have gotten really good at, however, is pretending I know things.

3. Bad people exist

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F01%2F6360569214262127031600612551_bd012a30-da3f-0132-bfd7-0a13eebe068d.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=140&h=0111f53f1f6298b18aebff3f5f98c82c595e7921916e29015000a550c8257cf7&size=980x&c=2108884382 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F01%252F6360569214262127031600612551_bd012a30-da3f-0132-bfd7-0a13eebe068d.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D140%26h%3D0111f53f1f6298b18aebff3f5f98c82c595e7921916e29015000a550c8257cf7%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2108884382%22%7D" expand=1]

Yeah, this one's not so fun. But it's true. Growing up, I thought everyone was looking out for everyone else and no one intentionally slighted anyone. The hardest lesson I've learned so far is that that's simply not true. However, this has taught me to treasure the friends who have always been there for me.

4. You have to buy toilet paper.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F01%2F636056923421319828-1243684720_tumblr_mu3q18WfjZ1sjqzioo1_500.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=338&h=87460cea10b5b4b162047323ec3d99e1ff175ffadfdeb1187f3b1fddf7bdd895&size=980x&c=1896775590 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F01%252F636056923421319828-1243684720_tumblr_mu3q18WfjZ1sjqzioo1_500.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D338%26h%3D87460cea10b5b4b162047323ec3d99e1ff175ffadfdeb1187f3b1fddf7bdd895%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1896775590%22%7D" expand=1]

It doesn't just...appear. And it's EXPENSIVE. And it's not like you can go without it. The same goes for paper towels, cleaning products, FOOD...these are the real issues.

5. Conversing with people is a lot more work

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F01%2F636056924644652970-1162201000_tumblr_m4ahjhodHo1r3bmu8_large.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=417&h=c6c597979b674b8f2e975cd7309ccf614109048e37bf005b2f496e8320a53666&size=980x&c=3781543380 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F01%252F636056924644652970-1162201000_tumblr_m4ahjhodHo1r3bmu8_large.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D417%26h%3Dc6c597979b674b8f2e975cd7309ccf614109048e37bf005b2f496e8320a53666%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3781543380%22%7D" expand=1]

I dread the conversation about some controversial topic when everyone looks at me to speak. Please, I'm just standing here trying to figure out who is getting dinner tonight: me or the cat?

6. Trying isn't good enough.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056928296232210-890826760_8B0BbXy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=423&h=651ea94e967f019eb0087d144b259a1f9740348c22901b0469ebaa4fa59237e2&size=980x&c=3349267386 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056928296232210-890826760_8B0BbXy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D423%26h%3D651ea94e967f019eb0087d144b259a1f9740348c22901b0469ebaa4fa59237e2%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3349267386%22%7D" expand=1]

"It's the journey, not the destination that's important" is ALSO A LIE. Seriously, Santa should be the only lie we tell our kids. This is insane. Life is really about the results, not how you get there. If you try your hardest, but don't meet that deadline, you're still fired.

7. This is never an appropriate reaction:

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056928914700929193666995_635932409826894582-970026522_ScvTI1d.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=549&h=af7439b11535da6b02b390de39a4d1ce677bd60dacf1a11d252ec1eb4f36d7af&size=980x&c=2862190748 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056928914700929193666995_635932409826894582-970026522_ScvTI1d.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D549%26h%3Daf7439b11535da6b02b390de39a4d1ce677bd60dacf1a11d252ec1eb4f36d7af%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2862190748%22%7D" expand=1]

Instead, we learn "tact." Ew.

8. Socializing is HARD.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056930017992286-1843648634_635950593449769162-201225192_63594389035120342832140895_image-5.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=688&h=7f2bc3af038fc62b69cc971d111e36e93749e8a080ff1c02bf7325e23a5f1752&size=980x&c=2007989273 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056930017992286-1843648634_635950593449769162-201225192_63594389035120342832140895_image-5.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D688%26h%3D7f2bc3af038fc62b69cc971d111e36e93749e8a080ff1c02bf7325e23a5f1752%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2007989273%22%7D" expand=1]

Getting out of the house when you have everything you need to survive (ahem...Netflix and some chocolate ice cream) in your house is nearly impossible. I'm gonna be honest, some days I only leave my house because I need to buy food for my cat.

9. You cannot adopt all the animals.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056933172221868-229453362_tumblr_ny213qYtni1tq4of6o1_500.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=867&h=0ce7aaec1c6958606b3176845ebafc41557407a574dfb99693609f16973a6648&size=980x&c=3963573821 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056933172221868-229453362_tumblr_ny213qYtni1tq4of6o1_500.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D867%26h%3D0ce7aaec1c6958606b3176845ebafc41557407a574dfb99693609f16973a6648%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3963573821%22%7D" expand=1]

The realization that adopting all the animals would be more cruel to them than leaving them at the shelter (to find other loving forever homes) was difficult. I cured this by volunteering (shameless plug for San Antonio Pets Alive! here...go volunteer or be a foster!) and it's one of the most rewarding things I've ever done.

10. Some people never grow up.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056935783416740-924508077_tumblr_ndhq6z46i41slhkaxo1_500.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=828&h=49ffb961b7379b18220843e3d13f34618156da4562e13142804d7e4ee7caba48&size=980x&c=1300142424 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056935783416740-924508077_tumblr_ndhq6z46i41slhkaxo1_500.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D828%26h%3D49ffb961b7379b18220843e3d13f34618156da4562e13142804d7e4ee7caba48%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1300142424%22%7D" expand=1]

Sometimes this is good...these inspirational people are successful, but still young at heart. Goals, basically. Other times, this is awful. Have you ever met anyone older than your mom who hasn't seemed to mature since high school? They're inspirational in their own way...it's good to have an example of what not to be.

11. Outgrowing friends is a real thing.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056939065113768725638806_6357773789849218111000072192_tumblr_mfd33nqfvY1rijbg1o1_500.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=855&h=1d861fc08571f32677be82fa8116baf14e2ca61d5912395446e107cdc8fda021&size=980x&c=1657032683 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056939065113768725638806_6357773789849218111000072192_tumblr_mfd33nqfvY1rijbg1o1_500.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D855%26h%3D1d861fc08571f32677be82fa8116baf14e2ca61d5912395446e107cdc8fda021%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1657032683%22%7D" expand=1]

Sometimes you develop different interests and before you know it, you haven't talked in months. Growing up is a busy, complicated, bittersweet thing.

12. Standing up for yourself can be really, really hard

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056941817073913-1934847240_anigif_enhanced-buzz-1409-1367009007-11.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=274&h=7331f563cfc9be3e94144aa7b64096ee27578e32b6d2324cb17fd1cbb0f42321&size=980x&c=179719172 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056941817073913-1934847240_anigif_enhanced-buzz-1409-1367009007-11.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D274%26h%3D7331f563cfc9be3e94144aa7b64096ee27578e32b6d2324cb17fd1cbb0f42321%26size%3D980x%26c%3D179719172%22%7D" expand=1]

But sometimes it's necessary. Don't let anyone make you do something you're not comfortable with or don't believe in. That's not friendship; that's oppression. Stand up for what is right, especially if whats right is you.

Growing up is tough. But fortunately, I have wonderful friends who encourage me to take a breath every once in awhile and look around at how lucky I am to be alive right now. It's nice being surrounded by people going through the exact same thing. So, newly 21 me is going to finally learn how to open a beer bottle and give herself a pat on the back for makin' it this far!

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F08%2F02%2F636056951849623463-1087232684_leslie-knope-gif.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=202&h=57c694f0f920ebe902f35a5e7f5f6b67323928524be2eff6e7b0811cec7e2fad&size=980x&c=2732459923 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F08%252F02%252F636056951849623463-1087232684_leslie-knope-gif.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D202%26h%3D57c694f0f920ebe902f35a5e7f5f6b67323928524be2eff6e7b0811cec7e2fad%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2732459923%22%7D" expand=1]