We’ve all been there, stumbling around wherever we find ourselves after a night spent getting lost in the sauce, or in more commonly used lingo, being drunk. And then it hits. For whatever reason, you’re hungry. And this isn’t the “ehhh, I could eat” type of hunger, this is the real deal. Say it’s the booze but you have no hesitations that you could legitimately eat everything on the menu of any restaurant, and worst of all you’re probably willing to put money on it. There are few meals that don’t taste better when you’re EWI (eating while intoxicated) but here’s a list of the top 12 (in descending order).
12. More Beer
Well I can’t say this is the best strategy, but if you’re really desperate and can’t find any food, beer can definitely fill you up and is most likely readily available. I wouldn’t exactly count it as food, but it’ll at least tame your hunger for a little while. If you’re not a beer drinker I can’t say any other alcohol will do you much good, but rather will probably just make you throw up before it cures your cravings.
11. Eggs
Eggs are a great way to fill up when you want something easy and delicious. The breakfast staple can definitely help control your hunger without any help, but the best part about drunk eggs are the options for customization. Cheese, bacon, avocado, hot sauce, and so on, the opportunities are absolutely endless. You’ll also feel like the world’s smartest person when you throw together some crazy combination that your sober self would cringe at the thought of. “These eggs with cheese, pineapple, peanut butter, and Oreos are incredible!”
10. Insomnia Cookies
Insomnia Cookies completely changed the world forever when they began offering delicious oven-baked cookies on delivery during the early morning hours. If your campus doesn’t have a shop close by, I am so sorry. Now giving credit where it’s due, these cookies are pretty solid when eaten sober, and definitely perk up any late night study session. But when you’re drunk; Oh. My. God. You’ll feel like Leo when he won his first oscar as you take every bite of the warm, cookie goodness.
9. Mac and Cheese
Whether it's out of the box, leftover, easy-mac, or homemade, Mac and Cheese is an intoxicated staple. Arguably one of the most simple dishes ever created, it is sure to put a huge smile on your face when you’re eating it at 3 a.m. while sitting on your apartment floor.
8. Chinese Food
If you have a Chinese restaurant near you that is open at the time you would be returning from a long night out, I envy you eternally. However, everyone knows Chinese food tastes better left over anyway, and chances are as you haphazardly scour your fridge for some food, a plastic container of rice and chicken may one day be in your view. You immediately rip it from the fridge and pop that sucker right in the microwave. T-Minus 1 minute and 30 seconds tip Heaven.
7. Nachos / Chips and Guacamole or Salsa
Chips and salsa are always an easy and tasty snack. If you are able to add melted cheese, some jalapeños, tomato, and guac; all the more power to you. Either way, grabbing a handful of chips and prominently dunking them into the salsa or guac of your choice never fails to disappoint.
6. Cheeto Puffs / Doritos
If you don't mind a little orang eon the tips of your fingers, or all over your face, cheese puffs and Doritos are hard to beat. These snacks will have you locking yourself in a room away from your drunk friends until you completely finish a bag so nobody can steal them from you; and for justified reason. Just make sure you leave the little crunchy Cheetos alone, this isn’t amateur hour.
5. Chicken Nuggets / Strips
The feeling as your teeth sink through a fried exterior into a juicy white center of tastiness is hard to compare to anything. As you tear through more chicken fingers or strips than you thought was humanly possible, there’s only one thing slowing you down. You know you’re afraid of that moment when you reach for another and are faced with the sad reality that there are none left. Cheer up, you’ll bounce back.
4. French Fries
Personally, I’m a sucker for french fries no matter what state of mind I’m in. However, if you ever encounter an individual who refuses a french fry while drunk; turn and run. Run as far away as you can, because I can promise you that person is either an evil robot or some alien creature sent here to destroy everything we know and love.
3. Pizza
“I will talk a large cheese pizza please; oh and uhhh whatever my friends are getting too.” Pizza is an absolutely delicious and adored meal no matter what, and like all of the other foods on this list, that adoration only increases in an impaired state. In your drunken mind the beautiful blend of bread, sauce, cheese, and whatever else may find itself onto the culinary canvas held inside a foldable cardboard box is the true greatest art Italy has ever produced.
2. Mozzarella Sticks
Mozzarella sticks are hands-down one of the best purchases you can ever make when you are intoxicated. Now to be honest, they usually run anywhere from $3-$6, but I once paid a random person two dollars for a single stick while waiting for a cab. And I am positive I am not the only one person who has done something like that for these beautiful gifts from the frier. They are just that good.
1. Grilled Cheese
Bread, cheese, butter (sometimes), a pan or foreman grill: the supplies are so simple, so common, and so cheap. The feeling that you are indeed Gordon Ramsay himself and have executed the absolute most perfect and delicious culinary feat in the world: that’s priceless.

































