As a kid, we’re forced to live with our parents and siblings. In college, we’re roomed with someone and if we’re lucky, we get to live with friends as upperclassmen. Prisoners, of course, don’t usually have a say in who they bunk with.
But when you finally get to move out of your parents’ house, and off campus, you get the luxury – and the headache – of finding a new roommate. When living with friends isn’t an option, finding that special someone to share your living space with becomes much like finding a person to date. It’s a big commitment to share a living space with another person. Here are eleven reasons why:
1. It’s really hard putting yourself out there.
Like finding the right dating app, or pushing yourself to take that night out, sometimes you have to find the right Facebook group or website to post your ad on…and you have to find the right words to go with it.
2. You ask the same questions to get to know each other.
“Where are you from?” “What do you do for a living?” These basic introductory level questions can be important for anyone you meet, and especially for
3. It’s easier to see their flaws than your own.
Like the power of swiping left
4. Sometimes people are too forward.
“When can I see the bedroom?” One might think this is a question from a Tinder match, but it’s an actual question that found its way into my Facebook messenger from one of my apartment postings. Nobody likes when people come on too strong.
5. Other times you get rejected.
Like the thumb swiping left and right on Tinder, you might think if you’re the one looking for a roommate to move into your apartment, you have all the power. So it might come as a surprise when someone decides that something about your way of life just doesn’t work for them.
6. Breaking up is hard to do.
After showing the apartment to countless people, and telling them you’ll get back to them, it finally comes time to tell people it’s just not going to work out. Sometimes it’s easy because you know you’ll never see them again. Other times, you know you might actually be hurting someone’s feelings by not choosing them.
7. Sometimes there’s immediate chemistry.
There are people you’ll meet and hit it off right away. You’ll talk everything over and it will feel more like hanging out than like the actual interview process that it is. The best moments are when you find yourself on a complete tangent about a common interest, and not something apartment-related.
8. You still try to friend-zone people.
Unfortunately, even if you meet two or three people you really get along with, ultimately you can only live with one. (At least in my scenario. Either way, you can’t live with them all.)
But sometimes you just wish that even if the living situation didn’t work out, you could remain friends. People do offer that up sometimes, but it doesn’t stick as often as you’d hope.
9. You don’t always want to invite them back to your place.
Like with dating, it’s a good idea to meet people outside your apartment before inviting people into your home. There are people you just don’t want to have your address. If you can add that extra step to your vetting process, it’s super helpful.
10. Or you invite them back to your place and wish you hadn’t.
Sometimes you have to skip the vetting process, and just go for that ’quickie.’ If you know what you want out of that interaction, and you’re confident that you’re safe (if your other apartment-mate is home, if you have a doorman who knows someone is coming), then that’s okay. But then it’s awkward having someone in your private space once it’s over with and you decide you don’t want to see them again.
11. It’s always safest to go with your gut.
There are some things on paper that make people easy and good to live with. You know yourself and what you’re comfortable with. If all that checks out, and the chemistry is there, you have nothing left to do but to go for it with that special someone. And hope you live happily ever after!
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