Do you fantasize about roses at your feet and paparazzi at your door? We all seem to think that fame is only for the famous. Don’t sell yourself short. When there’s a will, there’s a way. Here are 11 foolproof tips that can help you to achieve your dreams, and become so famous that people stalk you and threaten to kill you.
1. Live to be 123 Years Old
This might take a while, but patience breeds excellence.
2. Become President
There’s no better way to get your name out there! If you want to be so famous that you become a meme, then this job might be for you. Becoming president of the United States will not only get you publicity in this country, but all over the world. You’ll be almost as famous as Britney Spears. If this job seems like a little too much responsibility for you, or you’re not 35 yet, you can always…
3. Become a Meme
Do you wake up from sweet dreams of your face plastered across the internet, only to be devastatingly disappointed by reality? Becoming a meme might be for you. If you’re funny looking, and have exceptional facial expressions, look no further. Now, remember, becoming a meme isn’t for everyone. You have to be prepared for the harsh Twitter captions, the Instagram tags, and the occasional mom who shares you on Facebook two years after you were popular.
4. Invent the lightbulb
Nothing says famous like gracing the cover of a sixth grade history textbook. To make this method even more effective, change your name to Thomas Edison and invent the lightbulb in 1879 before lamps existed.
5. Win 23 Olympic Gold Medals
In order to accomplish this task, you will have to be genetically gifted, dedicate your entire life to training, and spend more time in a pool than on land. Anyone can do it.
6. Have Beyonce Give Birth to You
No explanation needed.
7. Post Half Naked Pictures on the Internet
Don’t do this.
8. Write An 8 Book Series About a Young Wizard and His Best Friends
Make sure he’s British.
9. Piss off Kanye West
Oh, Taylor. He made that _____ famous.
10. Live in a Pineapple Under the Sea
Any walking, talking sponge who flips burgers as a full-time job is bound to get some attention. If you can pour a glass of water, while still underwater, then this strategy is for you.
11. Be Perfect
