Let's face it, everyone gets nervous about at least one thing every day. But there is a difference between getting nervous and having anxiety. Anxiety is a disorder that can form from a traumatic experience, be passed down from generation to generation, or from within a person naturally. There are many different types of anxiety, including social anxiety and panic disorders. This is a generalized list of the top eleven things you should never say to someone with any type of anxiety.
1. "Calm down."
I'm sorry, but telling someone to calm down when they are experiencing a panic attack is not good advice. This causes more stress and even some anger because depending on what is being stressed over, it can feel nearly impossible to just 'calm down'.
2. "I'm stressed out too."
We get that everyone is stressed about something, but telling someone who is visibly upset and can barely function with their anxiety that you are also "stressed out" really doesn't help the situation.
3. "We have to talk... but I'm busy so I'll talk to you later."
Hearing this from a good friend, partner, or parent is probably the most terrifying line to ever be said. What could they want to talk about? Did I do something wrong? Do they hate me? If you're going to talk to someone about something, don't push it off until later. That anxiety will build up and it's a dark place in their minds when it does.
4. "You should try to be more positive."
Trust me, being positive is a lot harder than you think when your mind just keeps thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong when faced with a new situation. Just be encouraging and let them go at their own pace.
5. "I know exactly how you feel."
Anxiety and panic attacks are different for everybody. Some people have social anxiety, or anxiety caused by stress and fear. No one disorder is exactly the same as another, so it's very unlikely you know exactly how they're feeling at that moment.
6. "Life's too short to stress."
This causes even MORE anxiety because now you have just reminded them of how short their life really is and this just leads to a thousand other thoughts for them to worry about. How short is it? I'm wasting my life. There's nothing I can do. Just, don't say that.
7. "It's just all in your head."
Yes, it is very much so in their heads, which is essentially the problem.
8. "Just let it go."
Letting things go becomes a lot harder for someone with anxiety. They keep thinking of all the possible outcomes of just letting things go, which, depending on what they're thinking about, could lead to another panic attack.
9. "Things could be a lot worse."
Oh, they know. They've probably already thought of a thousand different ways things could get even worse.
10. "I've already told you this."
It's hard to assure yourself of something when you have anxiety. The possibility that you're forgetting something important eats you from the inside out. So don't get too strained when they have to ask you something repeatedly in an attempt to relax their mind.
11. "Have you tried yoga?"
For some individuals, yoga can help calm the mind and relax your thoughts. For some, yoga just allows time to be in a completely silent room with nothing but your thoughts. Did I forget to do a huge assignment due tomorrow? Did I leave the door unlocked? I could be studying for that test I have next week. Yoga may help some, but like stated above, everyone is different and they should be encouraged to use whatever techniques they can that is beneficial to them.
