We all have far more strange conversations with our roommates than should be admitted. When you live in a tiny box with someone for an extended period of time, you start to have similar questions and concerns that you share with them throughout the day. However, if you're anything like us, and you spend time watching TV shows together when you should definitely be doing homework (sorry professor!), you begin to adopt the characteristics of the personalities on screen. So in the spirit of both of us trying to decide which one of us is Nick and which is Winston (an ongoing debate since we finished the show), the things you say to your roommate as told by New Girl.
1. "I'm gonna die alone!"
This comes up far more often now that we are adults who live on a co-ed floor. Sometimes you just have to talk her off the edge because you know how amazing she is, and anyone would be lucky to have her. Or, being the weird lady people post on their Snapchat story could be kind of cool, too. No judgement.
2. "I have so much to do, but I'm just gonna watch Netflix."
And this is how you finish all of Orange is the New Black and get hooked on Grey's Anatomy. It's a dangerous cycle. Just make sure she goes to class instead of watching the next episode (this will actually be a problem, just you wait).
3. "I can't do it!"
You know she can finish the paper, or have the meeting with the dean, or kill the test she's freaking out about. But sometimes a little tough love (can you say Nick Miller?) is necessary to help her realize how capable and amazing she is. Never let her forget how much she can do if she puts her mind to it.
4. "Can you believe this b*tch?"
Oh no she did not just flirt with the cute guy your roommate has totally been interested in, or never return your favorite going out shirt. Or, more realistically, can you believe what this chick had the audacity to say about your roommate in front of you? B*tch please. Try again.
5. "Don't let me do anything stupid."
Sometimes you're the one injuring yourself on stage, and other times you're the one cleaning up the cuts and putting on band-aids. Roommates take care of each other, and it's important to know she'll have your back when you might do something stupid, like taking a picture with the lamp in the common room.
6. "Should I eat this?"
The answer is always yes. Maybe your roommate tells you she ate two whole pizzas by herself because she missed you while you were home for a weekend, and maybe she tells you to finish off that pint of ice cream because you deserved it. Even when it shouldn't be, the answer is yes.
7. "Should we start getting ready?"
We might have supposed to have been ready a half hour earlier, but we're definitely still in pajamas and have towels around our hair. Plans to go out die hard when you're watching puppy videos together in one of your beds and you look up to see you missed an hour and a half of the party. But hey, you've still got it.
8. "I feel like I'm gonna die."
You better believe your cycles have sync'ed up, too. The Midol is being shared like nobody's business, and you spend a lot of time together in bed taking naps and complaining about your cramps. But at least you're not doing it alone.
9. "I hate how cute they are."
That couple down the hall is just a permanent reminder of how alone you are, and your roommate is definitely aware of how you feel about it. Luckily, she'll probably let you borrow her life-size stuffed dog to hug or buy you some chocolate because in reality, you've got each other. And that's enough.
10. "It's 1pm. This is prime naptime."
The neighbors better get with the program and turn down their music. Like, come on guys. We have to nap.
11. "You know you love me."
No matter what stupid thing she had to stop you from doing (or eating), your roommate loves you, and you know it. It's the quirky things you do in the privacy of your shared shoe box of a room that make you best friends, and you love each other just like Winston loves his cat (and that's a lot).
