What do you do when you’re at the end of your rope—those moments when you literally feel like you could not possibly go on anymore? What do you do when all you want is to give up all hope and curl up in bed and not leave? What do you do when you feel so alone that you can’t even call your best friend or your significant other or your parents because you don’t want to bother them?
We’ve all been there. We’ve all had these feelings at some point in our lives. Feeling stressed out, sad, alone, anxious, downtrodden, ready to give up...these feelings are not unfamiliar to me and to many other people out there. We all reach these points at different times in our lives, whether it’s during midterms, a mid-life crisis or just on an average Saturday. I like to call these feelings the mean reds, borrowing the quote from a movie. But what do we do in times like this? How do we get over these awful feelings that we have?
While these are not cures for these feelings, here are some things that can help when you’re feeling the mean reds:
1. Watch your favorite movie.
Sometimes just curling up under some blankets and watching your favorite movie just feels good. Your favorite movie might be funny, serious, a musical, but it will surely cheer you up, even for a little bit. My absolute favorite movie is "Breakfast at Tiffany’s," and sometimes just escaping into the world of Holly Golightly is just what I need.
2. Listen to your favorite soundtrack.
I know that sometimes listening to music is the only thing that helps me feel better. It even helps me fall asleep. Just turning on your favorite album by that band you just discovered or that musical you’ve loved since you were little is the way to go. Turning to music and just absorbing the words and getting lost in the melodies...there’s just something about it.
3. Pull out a coloring book.
Adult coloring books have started to become popular, but even if you don’t have one of those, print out a coloring sheet from online. Pull out those crayons or colored pencils and let out all of your anxieties and frustrations on that piece of paper. In the end, you’ll have a beautiful piece of art that you can hang on your wall.
4. Do some deep breathing.
As a musician, I have found that breathing is extremely important. It’s a crucial part of what we do, but some breathing practices I use to warm up, I also use when I’m feeling anxious. Breathing in for four counts and out for four over and over again, sometimes switching between three and four, is so helpful. Counting while you do this is also relaxing. Focusing on your breathing and the numbers rather than whatever is bothering you is extremely calming and you might even forget about what’s been going on after solely focusing on your breathing.
5. Go for a walk.
Going for a walk has always been one of my favorite past-times. I used to live right down the street from a park, so it was an easy walk and beautiful. But even now, being on a slightly busy campus, it’s easy to get out and wander around campus. Sometimes just sitting in my room for a little too long is too much, so just getting out and getting some fresh air is much needed, and walking might help you think a little clearer.
6. Do something that you enjoy.
I’m awful at piano. I can’t play scales or Hanon exercises for anything, but the minute I start playing "Send in the Clowns," I feel so much better. I might be awful at piano, but I truly enjoy playing it and not being expected to be perfect at it. You might enjoy running, playing video games, making origami, or sewing, but take the time and enjoy whatever it is you’re doing. Let yourself feel happy while you’re doing it and you might feel a little better.
7. Play with your pet. (If you don’t have a pet, cuddle with a stuffed animal.)
Dogs and cats can be tremendously helpful during stressful moments. You can simply talk to your pet, stroke his fur or take him for a walk. A study * has shown that 55 percent of people who spend time with their pets are more relaxed, while 44 percent felt more optimistic. And if you don’t have a pet, cuddle with a stuffed animal!
8. Write in a journal.
This is something I am awful at. I have tried multiple times to keep journals and have failed miserably every time. In all honesty, journals really do help some people. It’s good way to confront your emotions. You don’t have to be good at writing, you could even just write down phrases or words, if it helps calm you down. It's the process of thinking and recording your conflicts that is most important.
9. Laugh.
As Dick Van Dyke sings, “I try to chuckle hourly, it clears the brain.” Laughing stimulates the Vagus nerve, reducing levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) in the blood and increasing serotonin production in the brain. Look up some silly pictures or videos of cats doing stupid things or of your favorite comedian online (look up John Mulaney, it'll be worth it) and just let yourself laugh.
10. Cry.
Sometimes a good cry is what you might need. Put on some sad tunes, let yourself open up and let it all out.
11. Remember that you’re not alone, and that you will be OK.
It’s always worth it to remember those two things. There is always someone you can turn to when you need, there will always be someone there to listen to you, whether it’s a friend or parent or counselor. You may be sad or anxious or alone right now, but tomorrow is a new day for you to go out and smile and seize the day. You will be OK, I promise. At the end of the day, we'll all be OK.
