Anyone who knows me knows that I am human. It's just an undeniable part of who I am. I'm not like other animals, and I never will be. Let's face it: Being a member of the homo sapiens species has its struggles, but through all its challenges, it's pretty rewarding.
1. Bipedalism.
Often I find that my upright stance is the first things that gets noticed about me. Who needs four legs when you can walk on two, am I right?
2. Opposable thumbs.
Hominids are almost the only ones with a digit that faces a different direction. I'm totally addicted... I literally could not imagine life without them.
3. Relative brain size.
I mean, we don't like to brag, but us people have pretty big brains compared to body mass. We don't let it go to our heads, though.
4. Written language.
It just seems like no one else feels the need to preserve records for posterity through time-biased methods of communication anymore! Only us people understand how to move pigment across tree slices into a series of mutually-recognized symbols to convey meaning to another person.
5. Consideration of cause and effect.
All the fellow people I've ever met agree: Rational thinking is where it's at. I absolutely love making decisions based on the final outcome in the long run, rather than on spur-of-the-moment instinct!
6. Agriculture.
If you are also a person, then you know that planting and cultivating food is basically the best way to assure that you and your family will survive the winter ever.
7. Art.
Okay, I'll admit it: us people are totally obsessed with beautifying the space we occupy and looking for things to occupy our time. I can't tell you how many times I've looked to film, theatre, or other humanity-borne media in order to fill the empty hours that other animals might spend finding food, shelter and mates.
8. Environmental damage.
From deforestation to oil drilling to greenhouse gasses to landfills, we're pretty good at devastating the earth and its natural resources. What other species would ever destroy the habitat in which they live in order to live a more comfortable lifestyle? Only we people have that kind of bold hubris!
9. Capitalism.
Humans are totally the best when it comes to the exchange of arbitrary values of wealth for goods and services.
10. Philosophy.
If you're a member of the human race like me, you totally understand the need to have answers to everything. What is our purpose? Does truth exist? What about free will or time? Others might be satisfied with the knowledge of simply being alive, but creatures like us for some reason need to know if there is such a thing as true knowledge before we can be satisfied.
11. Lists
There's no getting around it: People just love them! #JustHumanThings!
