It's important to use a person's correct gender pronouns ("he", "she", "they", etc.) regardless of that person's appearance, voice, or romantic/sexual orientation. Thinking of misgendering a trans friend, relative, or complete stranger, just 'cause? Don't let boredom make you a bad person! Here are some fun alternatives to ruining someone's day.
1. Drink some water.
Most of our readers are humans, and most humans need water to stay alive. Plus, it’s good for your skin.
2. Start an underground rock band.
If you start digging tonight, you should have a sizable hole by morning. Three feet deep, maybe. Continue to widen and deepen that hole over the course of the day, and you'll be able to fit three or four of your friends, plus Nick (who isn't your friend, but he's really great bass player, so you guys are working it out.) Once everyone's inside the hole, cover yourselves with dirt. Make sure to remember your instruments and amps that can be plugged into dirt walls.
3. Eat an Almond Joy and enjoy it.
You always hated those when you were a kid. Weird. Guess you really are an adult now.
4. Run across a swimming pool full of "oobleck."
“Oobleck” is a mixture of baking soda and water. It's solid when you’re touching it and liquid when you’re not, and it makes all the other things you could fill a swimming pool with seem kind of lame in comparison.
5. Surf the web.
The Internet is a pretty cool place with lots of pretty cool sites. We suggest this one.
6. Compose a symphony.
Mozart wrote the acclaimed “Linz Symphony” in just four days, so that’s the record to beat.
From now on, your goal in all things is to be better and faster than Mozart. We heard he once ran a 4.2 minute mile. Good luck.
7. Wash the same window. Over and over again. For hours. Keep doing that.
Because who else is gonna do it?
8. Climb out that window, scale a fire escape ladder and/or a wall of clinging ivy all the way up to your roof, and sit. Watch night fall. Contemplate. Be equal parts astounded and frightened by the passage of time.
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Ferris Bueller
9. Stare directly into the sun.
We've heard it's really something. Real big.
10. Found "The New York Tims" - a monthly newsmagazine produced exclusively for people named Tim who live in New York City.
We feel this is an untapped market, but don't take it from us!
"Wouldn't that just be a regular newspaper?" - Tim G.
"Weirdly specific." - Timothy A.
"I won't buy this." - Tim Y.
11. Literally anything else.
Be kind, considerate, and correct. Don’t misgender trans people.
