Sorry kids, but I am going to be a pretty ridiculous mom. I'm clumsy, I get stressed about really little things, and I embarrass the heck out of myself. You'll probably survive if you're willing to put up with these 11 things.
1. Having super uncommon names
You’ll thank me, Indigo, after you get past people you’ve known for years misspelling it every SINGLE time. Seriously how does that still happen, you’re talking to me on Facebook it’s RIGHT THERE.
2. Making up songs in public
3. Wearing their clothes
Um, hi, yes I paid for all of these so I can do what I want.
4. Being overly friendly with my daughter’s guy friends
I’m a great wing-mom.
5. Being late
Look, your mom tries to juggle a lot at a time and the world won’t end because we left 3 minutes before you should have been at band practice. If you get in trouble you can be SURE your teacher will feel my wrath.
6. Grabbing an intense amount of napkins at restaurants
I will never stop doing this. Kids are dirty and kids are sticky and their nasty hands will not touch me.
7. Forcing them to eat strange foods I like
If I say it’s good then it’s good. Maybe we’ll all be vegan this week, who knows? But you're eating it either way.
8. Always dressing up for Halloween
I don’t care what you think, moms can dress up for Halloween until they turn into actual skeletons. Your mom’s gonna be Beyoncé and you can deal.
9. Getting way too excited when they start dating someone
Unless it’s that kid Ben - you stay AWAY from him or I will homeschool you.
10. Having their old things thrown away
Hope you're not too attached to your 3rd grade field day trophy because it’s going in the trash. I promise you won’t care when you’re 20 or even the next year. An empty house is a clean house.
11. Having lots of pets
I am keeping every dog I see. I don’t care if it’s ugly, I don’t care if it has a third eye, it’s mine and we are going to love it.
