Have you ever wondered what it was like to experience anxiety? Or perhaps you are someone who struggles with feeling anxious on a day to day basis. Here are ten things anxious people wish you knew about what it is like to have anxiety.
1. People are exhausting.
This is the most common sign of being an introvert, but it is also a huge fact to those with anxiety. Dealing with people takes a lot of energy, something that extroverts do not seem to understand. Large gatherings, meetings, school and work can feel equivalent to hours at the gym. After these types of activities, both introverts and those with anxiety typically want to crawl back into bed and watch Netflix until they feel strong enough to face the masses again.
2. Loud people can rub us the wrong way.
It's not that they're bad people, and they don't mean to put us off. Louder individuals are sometimes too overwhelming for us. Extroverts can even be scary or intimidating to people who are more shy or anxious.
Or sometimes we are just jealous of their seemingly boundless amounts of social confidence.
3. Parties or other large gatherings are not our thing.
Does attending a loud party with throngs of people sound like a great fun way to spend your night? Or does it bring about more stress when you think about it? Meeting new people or even heading out with a larger group of people that you do know invites loads of stress into the mind of the anxious, especially when others are pressuring us to attend such events.
I'm sorry, that party you want me to go to appears to have tons of other people. No thanks.
4. People often assume that we are bored or upset.
People constantly ask "What's wrong?" or comment on how quiet we have been. The worst is when people assume that I am uninterested in the conversation or people around me because I haven't said much. The exact opposite could be just as true. Anxious people dislike the fact that it is commonly believed that the amount of one's speaking is equivalent to one's level of interest (e.g. class participation grades are the worst).
"I really do like you! I promise!"
5. We often get frustrated with how we act.
How one wants to act in social situations and how one wants to act can be very different things. People with anxiety typically wish that they were a bit more outgoing, but it is just not physically or mentally within them to do so. This can cause extreme internal and emotional stress for an anxious individual.
"Can you just act normal for once?!?!?!" is something often running through our minds.
6. We may do things that you find strange or ridiculous.
Depending on the specific individual, anxiety can cause people to do things that they otherwise would not. These can be actions like leaving in the middle of a social gathering, possibly crying in the middle of one, or unnecessarily freaking out on others. Many times others don't seem to understand that events they find fun or exciting may not be for others, and events you may have found fun the other day may now be too much for you to handle.
Believe me, we are all terribly sorry for things we may have done during these times of distress.
7. We try to hide our anxiety.
Anxious people don't usually like to let others know about their anxiety or anxious habits (e.g. fidgeting, nail biting, playing with phones or other objects/clothing) unless they are close friends. Having other people notice our anxiety or point out things we do to try to calm ourselves can be very embarrassing. We are more than aware of our actions and we are most likely trying to resolve the issue as soon as possible.
8. We often feel that we are a burden to others.
A common goal shared between those with anxiety is to not put a single ounce of stress on those around us. We feel a lot of stress, and I think that we often fear that we are causing others to feel the same way. This is especially true when our anxiety presses others to go out of their way for us.
We seem to have a hard time asking for help when we need it.
9. We worry. A lot.
Anxiety makes many little things scary or uncertain. This doesn't only apply to social situations either. These can be small but repeated worries of not locking the door or finishing a task even though you may have double-triple-quadruple checked it to make sure it was okay. Anxiety can make the smallest of everyday worries into a constant fear of making mistakes.
I know from experience that a constant fear of forgetting something is not fun.
10. Anxiety has a very real effect on us.
This may start with a downward spiral of irrational fears and doubts in our heads, but anxiety also has some very strong physical effects as well. In addition to the negative effects of long-term excessive stress on our bodies, anxiety can cause one's heart to race, sweating, chest tightness, muscle tension, headaches, fatigue and many others.
So don't try to tell us to simply "get over it."
