Adulthood is incredible. I would never trade it to go back to being a kid.

I graduated last year and have remained a student-at-large at my alma mater. In the year since graduation I have been enjoying the struggles, successes, and cacophonies of adulthood. I talk with many fellow grads about how we’re navigating life and I’m often asked by friends about to graduate for advice on what this thing called “adulting” is, so after one year of it this is my list (so far). What is beautiful is that there are still so many lessons to learn.

1. Time Flattens

As kids, we always hear adults bemoan about how quick time is passing. We have all heard: “it seems like only yesterday…” and “you’re HOW old? Oh, crap now I feel old.” Adults aren’t weird for saying this. In the entirety of our education we are constantly barreling into the next assignment, next exam, next academic year. It’s like sprinting up 86 flights of stairs and then, when you graduate out of school, nose-diving off the top of the building and hitting the ground. On the ground, everything (including time) is very flat, and suddenly you realize you have all the time in the world to get everything done, not one semester. Did you think you were going to accomplish a grand thing by the end of your first year out of college and you haven’t? That doesn’t mean you can’t. Every door remains open as long as you continue to walk towards it, whatever pace you may be taking. Some people meet the love of their life as seniors living in a nursing home. Alan Rickman didn't start acting until he was 27.

2. You Are, In-Fact, an Adult

I didn’t realize it until kids started assigning the word to me. I’ll hear a fleeting “that man on the bike...” and “the grown-up…” and I'll look around for the adult they must be referring to. Then it hits me. Oh. They mean me. I don’t view myself as anything but me. But to your co-workers, to strangers, and especially to kids, you are a big-kid. That doesn’t mean you have to act it. Just be conscious of it.

3. Build Your Life

You are allowed to curate your life however you desire. There is no teacher, no school, no overseeing RA or parent to tell you what you can and cannot do. Adulthood still has police-officers and bosses and laws, but how and who you choose to fill your life with is completely in your control. If you want to sit at home after work and just watch “Parks and Recreation” over and over again, you can. If you want to wake-up at 4 in the morning to swim a mile before work, you can. But just remember that no one will structure your life for you as school used to do. It’s on you to form/maintain communities, find validation and identity, and have fun.

4. Weddingggzzzz are Weiiiirddddd

Even during high-school, I would see people my age getting married and having kids, but they weren’t people that were actively in my life. This past March, I attended my first wedding where people my age that I care about got married. I went to highschool with these friends, played on the same sports teams, and marched in the marching band with them. They weren’t the cousin weddings I took for granted or the random classmates that I didn’t care about. When I arrived, not only were my friends getting MARRIED, but my other friends were in the bridal party, giving speeches at the reception. These weren’t the adults, the uncles, the older people that had always performed at the weddings from my childhood. This was us. As mentioned in #2, I was suddenly the concept of the adult that I was always waiting to receive a certificate for.

5. FAT

Get ready for it, accept it, and own it. I always wondered how adults didn’t stay in-shape. As someone who commutes on the train every day and is too tired to go to the gym after work, I get it. Please accept this as an apology to my childhood smirking.

6. Friends Drift In and Out

I remember as a kid my mom having a best friend who she only saw once a year because that friend was so busy. I would always press her with “Why aren’t you inviting Nancy over?” Again, my childhood ignorance continues to be humbled because back then, all my friends were around me at school and we’d go over to each other's house every day. That was our only responsibility back then. As adults we all form our own lives: work, relationships, and everything else dictates our schedule. We all are no longer on the same school schedule. Just like my mom, I have friends I see maybe once every two months. Sometimes more time between visits. As we continue to establish our own lives, what does the future hold for the frequency of our hang-outs? I’m sure I don’t know, and everyone is unique. But, as I’ve learned, don’t lose faith in a friendship just because you don’t have the same lunch break between African Literature and American Government anymore.

7. Cheap Eats

Allow me to offer some low-cost eating loopholes while they still exist: $2 vegetarian meal at Chipotle (just say “ALOT of beans and rice”), $1 frozen yogurt at Baskin Robbins, make as many email accounts as you can to get that free first meal from Grubhub/Eat24/Blue Apron. Produce is cheaper than meat (unless you’re shopping at Trader Joe’s). 30-racks of beer over the bar. But really, it all comes down to four words and two commas: rice, beans, corn tortillas.

8. Play

As soon as we graduate, we are all madly clawing to establish ourselves professionally, whether it’s in the sciences, arts, or as carnival performers. Don’t give up on those aspirations, but don’t place the value of your life on whether you fulfill all of your professional goals to a "t." That is the objectification of yourself and there is so much more to life than work, though it doesn’t always feel that way. Hang with friends, take that hike, skip work for some “you” time. None of us make it out of here alive so don’t worry too much.

9. People Want You To Win

In a country where our congress makes it a federal offense to be sick, it’s easy to believe that it’s you against the world. The friendships I’ve formed with strangers, the support I’ve received when in hard times from others, and the on-going questions of “what are you up to?” ( hough sometimes they stress me out) are always with the intention of the person saying “I want to see what you do next because you deserve to have good stuff in your life.” The people from the town you grew up in, even if you haven’t talked in years, want the best for you. A passerby in the street (by-and-large) wants the best for you. We want the best for others because we want the best for ourselves.

10. Taxes, Insurance, Savings, Investments, Housework, Cooking.

Nothing important.

11. Seek Excellence

I know that I’m prone to plow through laundry and cooking and cleaning so that I can get to the “fun” parts of life. But as I get older, I seek fun AND fulfillment. Treating everything you do (whether it’s finishing a project for work, organizing your bookshelf, or cleaning a plate) can give you purpose if you apply yourself to it. Life then becomes a series of accomplishments instead of obstacles/rewards.