11 Struggles Of Moving Into Your First Apartment

11 Struggles Of Moving Into Your First Apartment

Freedom, excitement, and putting that Pinterest board to work, what could go wrong?
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Getting your first apartment can be both an exciting and terrifying time. You've gone through the process of finding the perfect location, the layout you like (or can at least tolerate), and now it's time to move in and make it yours. Whether it's a college apartment or in a new city, there are many challenges and struggles that come along with that new shiny set of keys.

1. Discovering your credit isn't really that good.

Up until you were handed the lease with the security deposit amount staring back at you, it's pretty likely that you didn't realize how bad your credit score is, or that you even had one. Now that you do know, educate yourself on it, and pay attention to how you can improve it.



2. Realizing how much stuff you actually have.

You've only lived in one room your whole life; how much stuff could you possibly have? Sure, you picked up some cute decor stuff from Target, and sure, all that hand-me-down furniture could increase the load, but soon you start to wonder just how exactly you were able to fit this stuff into one room.


3. Empty fridge.

Don't panic. I repeat. Do not panic. An empty fridge and cabinets is a scary sight, however for $150 and some major couponing you can fill both of them right up, and then your anxiety levels are sure to go down.

4. Teaching yourself how to cook.

If you were one of those kids that always helped make dinner, this one might not be an issue for you. However, if you're the one that has lived on fast food and cereal your whole life... well, this will be a challenge. Tasty tutorials are a life saver! Trust me.

5. Cleaning on your own.

You're probably an expert on how to clean your room and know exactly where to throw things to trick your mom into thinking you actually cleaned it, but now that mess travels to multiple rooms. Do yourself a favor and don't let the dirty dishes and laundry pile up and form a spoon and sock monster seeping into your nightmares.

6. Bribing your friends to help with move in.

Your friends will be just as excited to see your new place as you are. If you're the first of them to get their own place, they might even be more excited and will want to come visit all the time. However, when you ask them to help move all your heavy stuff in, they're nowhere to be found. No worries, just like every other problem in this world, free pizza will do the trick. Offer some free food and beers and people will show up in no time.

7. Figuring out the shower.

It's bad enough being at a friends house and trying to stay calm, cool and collected while standing naked in their shower, but at least in that situation you can build up the courage to ask someone. In your first apartment, you're supposed to be the expert. You have to try to figure it out on your own. Just make sure you do it BEFORE you actually need to shower.

8. STAIRS

The first trip up the stairs and you think to yourself "Oh it's just 10-15 steps everyday, that's not bad at all!" Then you realize that it's not just everyday, it's five, maybe even eight times a day. And with groceries. And shopping bags. And a new couch, or tv. And after a night of drinking. And if you have a dog? Go ahead and add 10 more trips daily to that. On the bright side, your butt will be looking great in no time.


9. The first night alone.

Even if you've never had to share a room, or have stayed in hotels by yourself, the first night in your new place will convince you that you're either crazy, or the place is haunted. Don't expect to get much sleep, because you're going to wake up to every bump and creek in the night. The second night though, you'll be so exhausted from the first you'll pass right out, and eventually, you feel right at home.


10. Unpacking

Now that you've realized how much stuff you actually have, and everything's up the stairs, and the fridge has food in it, you get to empty all of those boxes and bins. At first it seems easy. The toaster and silverware obviously go into the kitchen. But where do you put your board games? All those picture frames? It may take you a month or two. But when everything's put together, it'll feel so great and homey.

11. Adding more responsibilities to your plate.

Congrats! You have now taken a step further into adulthood. Don't forget to pay rent, and have a little backup in case that electric bill jumps up. Good luck! At least you can stress out in peace in your very own place.

Cover Image Credit: dogsharley

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Living Undefined By The Numbers

By living life undefined by numbers, I can finally do it. I can be present, and be there. And I would argue that's what so many of us really want.

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The other day, I went on a 13 mile run with my friend, Greg, in preparation for our next marathon in two weeks. We went on a faster run close to marathon pace, and this run was different, felt different, and changed something important in how I want to press forward in life going forward.

During any run, very normal questions arise, for myself and probably for others, too:

"How fast am I running?"

"How much time is left?"

"How much time passed since the last time I checked my watch?"

Knowing that these questions torture me to answer during any run, I made a resolution: I would not check my watch as much, and focus instead on how I was feeling, what I was talking about with Greg, saying hi to the people we were passing, and anything else besides the numbers and times.

The run ended up being the most pleasant, enjoyable, and fruitful runs I've gone on in a long time, as we ran almost 10 miles continuously at 6-minute mile pace, and it felt natural. During this time, I didn't think about time, and I did my best to not think about pace. All the numbers left my mind as I just let myself be, and press forward unrestrained by time, and I realized why I loved and started running in the first place. I reconnected with who I was, and mentally worked through issues I'd been neglecting.

Normally, I would have checked my watch almost every thirty seconds and tortured myself with the information. I recall my freshman year, running 10,000 meters on the track, and feeling great. I wasn't thinking about time, and I was just running, concentrated on the effort and race in itself rather than how fast I was going through each portion of the race.

I passed through the 5k with my teammate, and my coach yelled our split at us: 16:20. Although I felt great at that point, I didn't have the mental strength to handle the knowledge. 16:20 was my best time in 5,000 meters at that time. I just passed halfway through the 10k faster than I ever had before, and still had another 5,000 meters to go. I broke down almost immediately, prompted by being mentally and emotionally overwhelmed by my awareness of time, and ran the second 5k significantly slower.

I like to think that if I were to run that race today, I would have not been phased by that information in that situation. I believe I wouldn't, either, given how much I've grown.

However, a simpler solution is to not think about the numbers, and not think about time, and just live and be. When I don't, I don't think about what I have to do in the future, where I have to go in 10 minutes, or how much time I have left to sit in a classroom.

There is the adage that time is life's greatest resource, but that's what it is more than anything: a resource. Resources are the means we have to fulfill our needs, but they are not the needs themselves. As such, time is not to be worshipped or thought about all the time, but it is something to be wary of in the periphery.

The last few days, I've been trying to free myself from time, and not check my watch any time I'm among people I love, in church, at work, or in a classroom, and I just feel so liberated. I can focus on the subject matter of whatever I'm talking about, whoever I'm spending time with, or whatever I'm learning instead of how much time has passed

When I run any race, from the 800 meters to the marathon, there's always something I force myself to do: I take off my watch. I hate hearing my splits when I'm running, as I'd rather concentrate on how I'm feeling or the process of running rather than the result of how fast I passed through a certain point of the race.

What numbers and time provide me, and many others, are structure and restraint. Popular culture nowadays prioritizes living in the moment, not dwelling on the past or being anxious about the future. The chorus of Eminem's famous and widely acclaimed song, "Lose Yourself," tells us to "lose yourself in the music, the moment," and that "you own [the moment], you better never let it go."

Letting the moment be defined by anything other than itself, whether that's a time, a number, a grade, or other evaluation is restraining and reducing it. I've allowed myself to lose myself in whatever I'm doing in the present, from the lecture I'm attending to the run I'm

I'm currently taking a class that prioritizes reporting as a facet of good writing, and reporting involves immersion, deep immersion with whatever you're researching, whatever subjects you're writing about. And let me tell you first hand, as a person who perpetually forces himself to be "busy" that knowing you have to leave and rush somewhere else in 5 minutes prevents you from being immersed with anything.

Immersion's etymology is the Latin word, immergere, which combines the roots in (into) and mergere (plunge). To immerse means to plunge into, and how often do we really immerse ourselves into what we're doing? How often do we just sit by the water only dipping our toes, part of our bodies in, but most of our bodies out?

By not letting yourself be defined or even focus on the numbers, you can be comfortable with the unknown. You can be comfortable not knowing, but some would argue that not knowing is ignorance. I argue instead that ignoring the numbers is a way of losing yourself, of letting go of the basic human need to control and put meaning to everything.

Paradoxically, I find not having to be in control all the time, not needing to have absolutely everything together to be liberating. I have no idea what is going to happen a day from today or even a minute from now, but maybe I don't need to know, and maybe in needing to control, we're going about things the wrong way, asking the wrong questions. Maybe what we really want, and what I know I deeply want, is to be there, to be present, to be with people I'm around. I have a tendency to be caught up in my mind and my thoughts, be somewhere else, and not really be engaging with people I'm with.

By living life undefined by numbers, I can finally do it. I can be present, and be there. And I would argue that's what so many of us really want.

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