As if there aren’t enough jokes about blondes, we unnatural blondes have to take on another set of struggles as well.
1. First and foremost, being called out for being a fake blonde
This is probably the most heart-wrenching part. People will comment and call your bluff about how you are unnaturally blonde and that hurts the deepest part of your soul. You know deep down you were meant to blonde, your genetics just screwed you in this department and that’s not your fault. Life just isn’t right for you if you’re not blonde.
2. Your roots coming in
It’s such a bittersweet concept because you’re overjoyed that your hair is actually growing, yet now it is super obvious to the rest of the world that your hair does not actually grow out blonde. Your friends will probably tell you that you need to get your roots done and although, they just want you to look fire all the time, unless they have a spare $100+ to give you to get them touched up, you’ll just suffer through the dark roots until it’s actually your time to go again.
3. Which brings me to my next point, spending the money to get your hair done
Being blonde is expensive. Sure, coloring your hair is expensive no matter the color, but getting roots and highlights done is a whole different type of expense.
4. Deciding what kind of blonde you want to be
You might think that blonde is blonde, but you are wrong. There is golden blonde, an ashy blonde, dirty blonde and endless shades in between. Since you’ve already committed to being blonde, when you feel like you need to change up your locks you just choose between which shade of blonde you want to try next. Another color is not an option.
5. Being too blonde
Right after you get your hair done, you feel great and fresh, but you also have an awkward three day period where the bleach at your roots is literally glowing.
6. Having a hard time growing out your hair
I know this isn’t true for everyone, but stripping your hair of its color is super unhealthy and makes it difficult for most unnatural blondes to actually get their hair to grow.
7. Dealing with the typical blonde jokes
Being called a dumb blonde when you’re not even a natural blonde is so confusing and insulting and arguing and thinking about it pretty much causes you to lose brain cells anyway so, you know what…forget I even brought that one up.
8. Chlorine
I love swimming in pools, but chlorine is a blonde’s sworn enemy. If you don’t wash your hair right after you get out of the pool, you will most likely have green hair by the next day which is not a good look for anyone.
9. Greasy hair
If you haven’t washed your hair in 24 hours it is more than likely that you look like a dirty mop. Blonde hair does not hide grease whatsoever especially when your roots are in too. Dry shampoo is a nice companion but isn’t always reliable.
10. Being pale
Blonde hair can really wash you out and if you don’t go to a tanning bed when it’s not summer, you probably look like a ghost. Don’t even think about being wearing beige or nude when you’re pale and blonde. Not a good look.
11. "Wait, so what's your actual hair color?!"
Need I say more?
Being a fake blonde can be hard, but beauty is pain. You win some, you lose some, but no matter what you’re dealing with you are still on fleek. Blondes have more fun anyway.
