'Tis the season of graduation parties, and awkward social situations. The other day I walked into a semi-close friend's graduation party and ran into my favorite high school teacher. She was sitting by herself and I plopped down next to her, happy to avoid an uneasy conversation or a forced laugh. We talked about going to grad parties and her established "grad party etiquette." Our conversation reminded me of all of the times I ran into a grad party to appease a friend and left with one hand clutching a cupcake with a graduation cap on it and the other hand holding a red Solo cup filled with punch, feeling weird and uncomfortable about what just went down.
I was inspired to outline correct "grad party etiquette" and explain how to avoid feeling like a buffoon at these hot beds of awkward hugs and fake texting.
1. Have a game plan.
Via If you come without knowing what time you need to leave, what you want to accomplish while you're there (i.e. greet the graduate, say hi to their mom, grab a piece of cake, etc.) and what kind of manners and attitude the event demands (are you going somewhere fancy or just their house?) you are sure to embarrass yourself as you wander around aimlessly and knock into the grad's uncle, spilling his beer everywhere. Have a plan of attack and stick to it.
2. Don't eat too much.
We've all done it. I had five parties to attend in one day and I thought to myself, "Sweet, free lunch!" Unfortunately, I ate the equivalent of three lunches, along with breakfast and dinner. You can't enjoy yourself and give your graduated friend a proper hug if you have a food baby the size of Texas and feel slightly nauseated. Whatever you do, don't eat a fifth Oreo ball.
3. Bring something.
This person is offering you free food and something to do. It's kind to bring a present. If you aren't super close friends, a handmade card will do the trick and won't cost you a cent.
4. Don't go it alone.
You're best friend from Chemistry is having a party at his house. But you know all of his friends run Cross Country and you wet yourself just thinking about running more than a mile at once. There are going to be so many people there that he's not going to care if you brought another girl from your Chem class to celebrate his big day. If you have a buddy with you who you know you can talk to and feel comfortable with you're going to have a lot more fun than if you show up and sit on a couch by yourself inhaling fruit Kabobs.
5. But don't bring complete strangers.
If the graduate has never met your friend from your neighborhood, it's not polite to bring them. He wants one day to be all about him and his accomplishment — making new friends is not on his agenda. If you show up with a different, strange friend on your arm he is going to think you are more worried about your friend than his celebration.
6. Come with a good attitude.
Nothing makes a social situation worse then when you decide you won't have fun. If you don't come psyched up and ready to be sociable you will just be a big cloud of sadness and no one will want to talk to you, amplifying your negative mood.
7. Introduce yourself to new people.
Yes, this is probably one of the hardest things in the entire world, second only to scaling Mount Everest and juggling lit torches. But your newly graduated friend's mom and dad would love to meet you and they are probably really nice, too.
8. Don't make the graduate feel obligated to host you.
It's fine to go alone if you are comfortable with being by yourself. But don't make the graduate feel like he needs to babysit you because you only know him. Either be sociable so he doesn't feel bad or stuff your purse with pizza and go.
9. Don't complain about anything.
This party is not about you or for you. If the chicken is burnt, sneakily throw it away when no one is looking and move on with your life. Don't say anything about the temperature, the atmosphere, the location, the food; it's just plain rude.
10. Do all of the activities.
Most of the time there are little things the graduate has planned, such as frames to sign, advice jars, yearbooks to write a message in and pictures to look at. They are looking forward to reading your signature and other mementos. Also, it gives you something to do so you aren't standing around looking bored.
11. Actually talk to the graduate.
This is the most important rule that is sadly often ignored. The party was thrown so that the graduate could celebrate her accomplishment with everyone else. She wants to give you a hug and walk down memory lane with you back to the time you stuffed 18 mini marshmallows in your mouth. If you come, take her food and leave, you aren't quite comprehending the point of attending a graduation party.
Now you're ready to conquer graduation season with poise and grace. Just please try to keep the cupcake eating to a minimum.
