Ah, flu season. That lovely time of year when every one of your friends is barred from entering your room until they can prove they're not a walking disease vector... until you are the walking disease vector. At that point, you pretty much just quarantine yourself in the library en masse.
1. "Did you hear (Insert Name Here) is sick?"
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And so it begins.
2. "Wait *you're* sick, too?"
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BE GONE, DEMON.
3. And Suddenly, Zombie Horde.
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ALL OF YOU, STAY AWAY FROM ME.
4. "Hey, are you okay? You sound like (Insert Name Here) when they had (Insert Campus Plague Of the Semester Here)."
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First of all, how dare you.
5. You wake up with "The Feeling".
You know what I'm talking about. That feeling - that sickly taste - that you get in the back of your throat when you wake up with a cold you just know is going to be particularly nasty.
6. The health center is booked until the end of time, and you'll all be dead by the time anyone can get an appointment.
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Oh, you suggest Advil and fluids in the meantime??? I TOTALLY DIDN'T ALREADY TRY THAT.
7. You got an appointment!!!
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You are one of the Chosen Ones.
8. Then the nurse hits you with "you're fine."
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"Yeah, uh, this is probably viral? I know you're coughing up Nickelodeon slime and haven't been able to see straight for three days, but I've already given out, like, 2 Z-Paks today, and I don't wanna go crazy."
9. It's been 4 days and you've gotten worse!
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"Oh my goodness, who treated you here last time? You need antibiotics, STAT!" Oh, really? You REALLY think so? Do you? GOOD, BECAUSE I'M DYING.
10. "I CAN BREATHE!!!"
Somewhere in a conversation with a friend about emailing a professor to get an extension on that paper you can't write because you were out sick for two days, your friend notes that you suddenly don't sound like you have twenty pounds of Elmer's glue in your head. It's smooth sailing from here!
11. ...Aaaaand you've got 30 over-due assignments.
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Oh, well. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?
