The 11 Stages of Being Sick on Campus
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Health and Wellness

The 11 Stages of Being Sick on Campus

I'd be perfectly healthy if I didn't have any friends. Or classes.

12
The 11 Stages of Being Sick on Campus
The Odyssey Online

Ah, flu season. That lovely time of year when every one of your friends is barred from entering your room until they can prove they're not a walking disease vector... until you are the walking disease vector. At that point, you pretty much just quarantine yourself in the library en masse.

1. "Did you hear (Insert Name Here) is sick?"

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231430998544141-1278386630_oh%2520no.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=251&h=0be15c42c6ef1b7581b5a424afb1a5340847e79e65ef1a45a4bca664c3805594&size=980x&c=2571326435 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231430998544141-1278386630_oh%252520no.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D251%26h%3D0be15c42c6ef1b7581b5a424afb1a5340847e79e65ef1a45a4bca664c3805594%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2571326435%22%7D" expand=1]

And so it begins.

2. "Wait *you're* sick, too?"

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231431748886235-1584108684_stay%2520away.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=485&h=ebd8a255203eeb5e4f8bf1b117d2c03685d5b517a07acee8b8ba57b85c11df05&size=980x&c=2838463915 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231431748886235-1584108684_stay%252520away.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D485%26h%3Debd8a255203eeb5e4f8bf1b117d2c03685d5b517a07acee8b8ba57b85c11df05%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2838463915%22%7D" expand=1]

BE GONE, DEMON.

3. And Suddenly, Zombie Horde.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231434636585606-141341667_zombies.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=632&h=dc0d1249ae58fd8cac9639cf8a5c2743b68f0a0dc4463c5b942abfb8631cebdc&size=980x&c=1820946403 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231434636585606-141341667_zombies.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D632%26h%3Ddc0d1249ae58fd8cac9639cf8a5c2743b68f0a0dc4463c5b942abfb8631cebdc%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1820946403%22%7D" expand=1]

ALL OF YOU, STAY AWAY FROM ME.

4. "Hey, are you okay? You sound like (Insert Name Here) when they had (Insert Campus Plague Of the Semester Here)."

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231435564144992-526254770_excuse%2520me.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=591&h=324d96fabcdbf20677a6f5ba49a6c074d14275117fa6ad92faf33d37b6488f77&size=980x&c=2617072126 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231435564144992-526254770_excuse%252520me.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D591%26h%3D324d96fabcdbf20677a6f5ba49a6c074d14275117fa6ad92faf33d37b6488f77%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2617072126%22%7D" expand=1]

First of all, how dare you.

5. You wake up with "The Feeling".

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231437230423576646531307_i%2527m%2520dying.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=835&h=a294a7b5439636c93628fa8933232dd570592739972f1b93537ab79ee5ec9bdb&size=980x&c=2528031684 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231437230423576646531307_i%252527m%252520dying.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D835%26h%3Da294a7b5439636c93628fa8933232dd570592739972f1b93537ab79ee5ec9bdb%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2528031684%22%7D" expand=1]

You know what I'm talking about. That feeling - that sickly taste - that you get in the back of your throat when you wake up with a cold you just know is going to be particularly nasty.

6. The health center is booked until the end of time, and you'll all be dead by the time anyone can get an appointment.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231438320657146-2082642618_kidding.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=456&h=2868a2e58d311bf592e371cea964bea3d811bf34bf8c991c59dac4b0fab7fb13&size=980x&c=2087307044 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231438320657146-2082642618_kidding.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D456%26h%3D2868a2e58d311bf592e371cea964bea3d811bf34bf8c991c59dac4b0fab7fb13%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2087307044%22%7D" expand=1]

Oh, you suggest Advil and fluids in the meantime??? I TOTALLY DIDN'T ALREADY TRY THAT.

7. You got an appointment!!!

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231439075111977-318832905_thank%2520god.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=26&h=9e5a9851def910662beeeda6d6b0e16c9eb40e369aeff6655158c3f44d23bcca&size=980x&c=1858656995 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231439075111977-318832905_thank%252520god.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D26%26h%3D9e5a9851def910662beeeda6d6b0e16c9eb40e369aeff6655158c3f44d23bcca%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1858656995%22%7D" expand=1]

You are one of the Chosen Ones.

8. Then the nurse hits you with "you're fine."

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231441714714194-1996079237_uh.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=262&h=36d0a767ac01933b368a33cf46164a864e3c534a47435df497598305ba2a5da2&size=980x&c=4058294580 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231441714714194-1996079237_uh.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D262%26h%3D36d0a767ac01933b368a33cf46164a864e3c534a47435df497598305ba2a5da2%26size%3D980x%26c%3D4058294580%22%7D" expand=1]

"Yeah, uh, this is probably viral? I know you're coughing up Nickelodeon slime and haven't been able to see straight for three days, but I've already given out, like, 2 Z-Paks today, and I don't wanna go crazy."

9. It's been 4 days and you've gotten worse!

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231443353914478-995746541_you%2520guessed%2520it.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=122&h=cc038f2241e70c649fc1371c20d2ed86cdfe01480890cfb5d75af7b9552aa0b3&size=980x&c=2952728097 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231443353914478-995746541_you%252520guessed%252520it.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D122%26h%3Dcc038f2241e70c649fc1371c20d2ed86cdfe01480890cfb5d75af7b9552aa0b3%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2952728097%22%7D" expand=1]

"Oh my goodness, who treated you here last time? You need antibiotics, STAT!" Oh, really? You REALLY think so? Do you? GOOD, BECAUSE I'M DYING.

10. "I CAN BREATHE!!!"

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F6362314471333523692004967756_shocked.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=809&h=29cc5cb1f2c0324b98f379232bc7af3291a56b9e3009362e690dff8ac6525fed&size=980x&c=2537131971 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F6362314471333523692004967756_shocked.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D809%26h%3D29cc5cb1f2c0324b98f379232bc7af3291a56b9e3009362e690dff8ac6525fed%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2537131971%22%7D" expand=1]

Somewhere in a conversation with a friend about emailing a professor to get an extension on that paper you can't write because you were out sick for two days, your friend notes that you suddenly don't sound like you have twenty pounds of Elmer's glue in your head. It's smooth sailing from here!

11. ...Aaaaand you've got 30 over-due assignments.

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2017%2F02%2F19%2F636231452401577597-1409798568_coffee.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=32&h=fc1f85bf95b4d70ecad018b2635b251b76ad702e510512295aa1a45c3a280fa5&size=980x&c=800967203 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2017%252F02%252F19%252F636231452401577597-1409798568_coffee.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D32%26h%3Dfc1f85bf95b4d70ecad018b2635b251b76ad702e510512295aa1a45c3a280fa5%26size%3D980x%26c%3D800967203%22%7D" expand=1]

Oh, well. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

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