Every romance story has certain qualities which make it
unique, lovable, and perfectly matched with a bag of popcorn on the side. But
sometimes, these stories need some spice, some excitement, and some music -- which
is where Bollywood romance comes in. Bollywood is essentially the Indian
version of Hollywood plus melodrama, music, and dancing. So basically it's the best thing ever. I spent years making fun of the over-exaggerated emotions and quirky characters with my friends (it's kind of hard not to). But if you need a little Bollywood romance in your life, here are some things to look out for:
1. A guy who loves to dance.
I mean he really likes to dance. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure there are plenty of guys out there who love having a good time on the dance floor but this is next level. I’m pretty sure I saw a movie once where the guy spent more time dancing by himself to get the girl’s attention than he actually spent talking to her. Forget about dancing with friends or the girl you actually came here for. Just give him the spotlight, a flattering muscle tee and he’s set.
2. A best friend who needs to get a life.
3. A love interest who's always annoyed.
In an attempt to act coy or disinterested, the woman in a Bollywood romance seems to be in a constant state of annoyance at the man who’s trying to get her attention. It’s kind of like a schoolgirl act where the girl and guy squabble until they realize their undying love for each other and ride off into the sunset. You know what I mean.
4. The tree dance.
In every classic Bollywood romance, there’s a tree dance and to this day, I still don’t know why. Essentially, the girl plays hard to get and hides behind a tree like she thinks a tree limb hides her highlighter yellow dress. Playing along, the man will swing around behind her and do something a little more daring like kiss her on the cheek or something. How this is romantically appealing, I don’t know but the tree dance has prevailed since the birth of Bollywood romance so I must be missing something … right?
5. The female metamorphosis.
Okay, this is definitely a universal characteristic of a good chick flick but Bollywood takes the cake when it comes to the story of the ugly duckling becoming a beautiful swan. Even though the man is supposed to love her for her "inner beauty" (don’t even get me started on that), the woman will always go through this dramatic metamorphosis where suddenly the glasses come off, the messy hair gets cut, and the sweats are exchanged for these gorgeous, form-flattering dresses and saris. Cue the best friend suddenly seeing how beautiful she is and realizing he’s in love with her.
6. The awkward love triangle.
Ah, the awkward love triangle. A true Bollywood romance would be incomplete without one. The worst thing is that whether there are two guys and one girl or vice versa, there are always two people who are truly perfect for each other and one who kind of meets the bare minimum requirements. So there you’ve got third wheeling at its finest. Sometimes a melodramatic love song will feature the two people who are perfect together dancing away into the sunset while the third-wheeler makes it his first priority to uncomfortably follow them around everywhere. #relatable
7. Random nature scenes.
99.9 percent of Bollywood romances take place in a city or urbanized area (don’t quote me on that) and yet, in every musical number, there’s this random shift to some natural setting where the two main characters will continue singing of their love for each other. And to top it off, I can guarantee that they won’t be wearing anything appropriate for that setting. So suddenly you'll see girls in mini dresses twirling around in the Swiss Alps while their significant other rolls around the snow in his leather jacket. Obviously that was the most appropriate choice for 15 degree weather.
8. The disapproving father.
Typically, Bollywood romances tend to focus on a father who thinks his son or daughter is too good for the person they’ve fallen in love with. Naturally, he proceeds to disown his child and maintain an estranged relationship for ten years. Now that's the kind of parent I want to be.
9. The over-dramatic crying session.
Bollywood actors are notorious for their crying abilities because they never just cry; they bawl. I’m talking about tears, snot, sniffling; the works. Usually a mother is crying because she wants her son or daughter to find true love. Or maybe she’s just hormonal, I can’t say for sure.
10. A happily ever after
ending.
The best part, right?
11. The epic dance.
Wrong! The best part of every Bollywood movie is the epic, colorful dance scene at the end of the movie. Not only is everyone living happily every after, but they’re also shaking their booties together on the dance floor. It really doesn’t get better than that.
