Since the beginning of time, it's been the feud of all feuds. The world is divided by Republican or Democrat and "dog people" or "cat people." We need to settle the debate once and for all. Dogs or cats: which animal is superior?
1. I mean, do I really have to explain why?
No matter what if you have a dog, you will always have a best friend. Between greeting you as soon as you walk through the door to literally and figuratively sticking by your side through thick and thin, your dog will always be there for you.
2. Dog spelled backward is God.
Coincidence? I think not.
3. Whereas cats are the actual Satan spawn.
Cats are always secretly plotting your death, just F.Y.I.
4. Dogs are called "man's best friend" for a reason.
They lift you up when you're down, mend your heart when it's hurting and will always be loyal to you no matter what. Dogs are lifelong companions that love you as though you're family to them, while cats just want you to feed them and scoop their sh*t out of the litter box.
5. Dogs help to keep us fit and active.
Dogs love nothing more than to see a leash in your hand as you walk up to them. Taking your dog for a walk is a win-win for both of you as you can each get exercise while spending time together.
Have you ever tried to take your cat for a walk?
Yeah, I didn't think so.
6. Dogs are basically superheroes.
Police dogs, fire dogs, service dogs ... you name it, a dog can be it. Dogs can be used to sniff out drugs, guard firehouses, assist owners with physical disabilities and actually provide a service to society. Cats are just the damsel in distress waiting to be rescued from a tree by a knight and shining armor.
7. Dogs are civilized.
Cats will walk on every surface of your house.
We eat on that table!
8. Dogs are housebroken.
Cats don't even have the decency to leave the house before they do their business. The audacity.
9. Dogs don't vomit up hairballs every day like some animals we know. . .
10. Who will protect you from a burglar?
Certainly not a cat that's afraid of its own shadow, or in this case, a cucumber.
11. Cats have to have nine lives because they're clumsy.
Dogs only need one life because they know not to jump off of tall buildings as if they're a stunt double or parkour enthusiast.
For any cat lovers out there that I might have offended, I am sorry for my CAT-ITUDE, but I hope I can PURR-SUADE you to see the light and become a dog lover. These puns have been quite RUFF, so I apologize. Despite the shade I have thrown at all cat lovers, I'm just KITTEN around!
